Em Muses

Education Synchronicity and Me

2012-01-01T14:19:00.000-05:00

As I work on the documentary project, I am doing research on how to make "my" documentary as effective as possible by watching other documentaries. To keep me on task with this, I have an ongoing list of documentaries in my Netflix queue. For some unknown reason, and without really having time in my day to do so, I watched "Waiting for Superman" yesterday.

As I watched, I was noticing what caught my attention and what kept my attention. And my mind wandered to thoughts of my own education, how teachers always said my grades would be better if I applied myself, and how the thought of being in a classroom long hours sounds like torture to me. I also thought about a couple of TED Talks by Sir Ken Robinson that address the problems of the current education system. I am a big fan of Sir Ken Robinson- his ideas about teaching and learning resonate with me and inspire me.

At the end of "Waiting for Superman" I was mostly disengaged and felt sad about the education system in the U.S.- and hopeless that it will ever be fixed. I don't have any children, so I could not really relate to a parent's passion for wanting their child to have a good education. On top of that, I was always a mediocre student (as referenced above). Yet, I consider myself a very intelligent woman and I love to learn. I just have a "meh" attitude about "traditional" education. Thus the admiration for Sir Ken!

So, imagine my surprise (and delight) when, as I sat in a church service where I go for corporate worship (Crossroads), to make a point about a special aha moment- my pastor showed this clip:

My pastor explained that the actual subject of education had little to do with his "aha" learning. But that the notion of failing due to using a teaching approach established for a different time in history spoke to him.

I think this is what was so scandalous about how Jesus taught while he was physically walking the earth. He upset so many pharisees because He used non-traditional approaches to teaching the people about God's character, love, truth and grace. It is this demonstration of God's character that resonates with me when I listen to Sir Ken Robinson- even though he is not talking about God. And it is this complex yet simple illustration of God's truth and grace that I intend to use as inspiration while putting the documentary vision on film.

I Second that Emotion

2011-12-28T06:52:00.001-05:00

A few days ago I was feeling extra emotional about something and needed a friend to talk me through the intensity of the moment. Nothing bad...how to love and be loved stuff. The friend who came to my aid is one of my closest friends. We talk and pray each other through lots of life. In her efforts to tell me everything would work out, she said, "You are a very emotional person." I literally cringed. She meant it in the best way possible. Why do I feel the need to add that disclaimer? Why is being emotional so frowned upon in society?

I was writing in my prayer journal about this question. I find myself wanting to be defensive about my emotions- explain them rationally. Then I remembered that I am created in God's image and that God, the almighty and holy God, is an emotional being. The Bible is full of examples of His wide range of emotions. He is famous for His intense love. Love that is so over the top that He sent His beloved Son to be born physically into the world He created in order to share Himself intimately with all of humanity. Not only that, but His beloved Son died a tortuous death to atone for our darkness and create direct access to His Holy Love. And He didn't let His Greatest Act of Love remain in the grave. His Love ascended from the physical world and is still alive- knowable and soulfully tangible to anyone who reaches for Him.
That is the beauty of God's perfect truth and grace.
That is the ultimate demonstration an intense emotion.
And I second that emotion.

Writing for Exercise

2011-12-26T12:45:00.000-05:00

Once a month, an eclectic group of writers gathers at a place called Book Bums. We all have different styles, approaches, and reasons for gathering with the common denominator being our love for words. Therefore, we call ourselves Word Bums. I love this group! Most have been published in some form or fashion and we nurture and encourage our fellow writers. As a Christmas gift this year, the woman who facilitates the group gave us fancy page clips in a box. She had taped a list of 12 writing exercises on the outside of the box. I am notorious for showing up at our gatherings having written nothing to share with the group. So, I promised her (and myself) that I would do at least one of the exercises before we meet in January.

The exercise I tackled today is to write a 20-line poem about a memorable moment in my life.
Here it is:

Awkwardly Shy

The personality profile calls me an ENFP. The Extrovert prevails,
minus when the Perception of insignificance convinces me otherwise.
That's when instant introversion consumes the Feeling of pure excitement.
In these moments, the iNtuitive works overtime- desperate to resolve the conflict.

Serendipity magnified this phenomenon, standing in the kitchen of my favorite author,
surrounded by blind intentions of helpers who had not read his descriptions of God.
Without a clue of all I knew, they pushed me forward. Their nudges seemed paralyzing.
I stood silently near him in his elevator, searching the floor for courage to speak.

Who am I to wonder what to say, when to talk, how to reveal my knowledge of his work? Questioning myself, assuming his worst perception of me. A manipulative stalker?
But the meeting was not orchestrated by me. I wanted to scream.
You know how God works don't you? Can I tell you how God brought me to this place?

Admittedly, I had prayed to meet the author. God was listening and blew my mind.
Amazingly, God used details over twenty years in the making to answer that prayer. Astonishing me with His intimate attention, God saw how my child-like faith grew.
Awkwardly, I felt strangled by shyness in the face of this gift from my Holy God.

The author's mutual love of music and my gift of a personal playlist saved the day with
a moment of redemption amid sounds of crashing expectations.
A connective chat, we shared favorite lyrics and songs until necessity called him away.
I still pray that my muted truth will someday grace his ears.

Documentary Distraction

2011-08-03T14:56:00.000-04:00

My apologies for being MIA for the past few months. Not that I haven't left my readers hanging before...but this time I have a better reason than busy.

Last Fall I started working on a documentary. Then in April I created a blog to keep people updated on the process and progress of the documentary. So, all my blogging efforts have been directed towards that blog since April. The working title of the documentary is Heart.Beats.Slavery and thus, that is the name of the blog. You can link to the blog for the documentary HERE.

Anyway, so I think I mentioned previously that in December I took a promotion at work. That was also a big distraction for 3-4 months. After a rough learning curve, I am happy to say I've hit my groove and was able to arrange for a 4 day work week. Woot! That means that I have an extra day off every week to focus on the documentary. I've only had 4 of these "extra day off" things, so I haven't settled into a consistent rhythm yet. But my goal, eventually, is to include posting on THIS blog as well as the documentary blog every week on that bonus day.

As a matter of fact, I did a post on the other blog this morning. Now this one. I am on a ROLL!

As you can see, my life is generally a flurry of activity. And always chock full of God's truth and grace.

How does God's truth and grace manifest in your life? Please share in the comments! Thanks!

Lyrics du Jour - You in the Sky

2011-04-24T10:58:00.003-04:00

Post subtitle could be "Full and Passionate Worship, Waterboys style!"
There are a couple of versions of this song. There is a somewhat subdued version with the following lyrics:

You alone of all
You in the sky
I want to know why clouds
come in between You and I

Let me know you
Lover woo me
Open up my heart and
sing Your song right through me

Nice right? That version is almost soft spoken compared to my favorite version on Fisherman's Blues. The version on Fisherman's Blues crescendos and builds with a soaring sax and fire in the fiddle. Mike Scott's voice is passionate and raw when he sings these lyrics:

Thou alone which art

You in the sky

I want to know why clouds
come in between You and I

Thou art beautiful

And I am gifted

When in Thy precious presence

I am lifted

Let me know you

Come into me

Open up my heart and

Sing your song right through me

Let me know you

Come into me

Open up my heart and

Sing your song right through me

Thou alone which art

You in the sky

I wanna know why clouds

come in between You and I

It is a rainy Easter Sunday in Cincinnati and these lyrics seem a perfect way to praise the living Triune God in both sun and rain. And the bolded lyrics inspire me to remember my creativity comes directly from the ultimate Creator of everything. When I feel disconnected from my creativity, I lift my spirit up to be in God's Precious Presence...where I am blessed with His Perfect Gifts. Where His perfect Truth & Grace are within perfect balance.

Beaded Hope & Dreams

2011-02-05T10:24:00.000-05:00

When we met, Jennifer had just begun taking action on a vision after visiting South Africa. She had a vision to create an avenue for South African women with AIDS to be able to sustain themselves and their families. She noticed how common and popular beaded objects and jewelry were in South African markets. Jennifer thought having the women make and sell beaded products could generate income in order to put food on their tables. She named her venture Beaded Hope (www.beadedhope.org ).

I met Jennifer a few years ago via a mutual friend. I think I was updating the mutual friend about a vulnerable time in my life when we bumped into each other. And because Jennifer was part of that conversation it seems we were instantly bonded. I remember Jennifer got tears in her eyes as I shared how God had freed me from a heartbreaking situation. And Jennifer’s vision for Beaded Hope inspired me. So naturally, I started supporting her vision any way I could. I bought Beaded Hope products, I took the jewelry to work and sold it to my co-workers, I proudly wear Beaded Hope t-shirts regularly (which, by the way, are very stylish and do not boast the name Beaded Hope-so when people say they like my shirt I get to TELL them about it), I volunteered to help her at Beaded Hope events, etc.

So this is how I ended up at a cute little café/book store/lending library called Book Bums in November. The event was named “Let it Snow” because the featured products were Christmas tree ornaments beaded by women in South Africa. The ornament that inspired the event name is a beaded snow man. Yes, a snow man! The South African woman who designed this ornament had never seen snow before. In South Africa it only snows down around Cape Town. And the women associated with Beaded Hope live in Pretoria which is much closer to the equator. I don’t think it ever gets near freezing there.

Also featured at this event was a book signing by Cathy Liggett who wrote a novel inspired by the Beaded Hope story. That is a whole ‘nother miraculous divine introduction story in itself. And that story would lead to other miraculous divine introduction stories… so I will refrain from going down that rabbit hole in this post. While Cathy’s book is fictional, it does illustrate the context of Jennifer’s vision- you should buy it and read it!

As it happens, a friend and neighbor of Jennifer’s helped organize this “Beaded Hope: Let it Snow” event at Book Bums. And THIS is the divine introduction story I will share today. You know how you can walk into a room and- without even realizing it - survey the contents and pick out people and things you think are “cool” or you’d like to know more about? Well I immediately noticed this tiny thin woman with spiky red hair, glasses that eluded she was fascinating, and her clothes whispered “We like the same stuff.” This was my first impression of Joules. After catching up with Jennifer, eating some lunch and ordering a fabulous frozen peanut butter hot chocolate (don’t think too much about the contradictory name, just go with it!)- this terrific tiny woman boldly approached me, extended her hand, and said “I’m Joules!” Her friend Lisa (yet another wonderful person I met that day) joined us in the “Beaded Hope show room” and we started chatting about this, that, and the other. As it turns out, Joules and I have a lot of mutual interests- she is also a writer, fan of U2 and Over the Rhine (amongst many other bands we both love), and more.

I love God’s timing and how He weaves lives together. And this is just one example of His perfectly mysterious ways. As we (Joules, Lisa & I) talked, Lisa mentioned she had been at the Unbound Event (www.unboundmovement.org ) a couple weeks prior. I tend to down play stuff I’m working on that’s early in the process, but I explained to Lisa and Joules I had been there to do my first day of filming for my documentary. Their eyes widened and Joules said, “Tell me about your documentary.” My decision to make this documentary had just formulated at the end of October so it was still a very new and very rapidly progressing adventure for me. So, I explained it was early in the process but that the goal of the documentary is to show how ordinary people can and do make a difference to end human trafficking… specifically sex trafficking. Well, it just so happens, Joules informed me, that her teenage son was in the Czech Republic making a film about sex trafficking, too! What? No way. This is just one of many instances of God putting people in my path to inspire me as I muddle through making a documentary for the first time ever. I’m super blessed to have a film-making partner (my friend Lee) who has some documentary experience- thank God (quite literally).

As we parted ways that chilly sunny Saturday in November, Joules gave me her business card which reads “Joules Evans- writer and tennis freak” which cracked me up! We started emailing and she sent me a link to her son’s blog and invited me to join her writing group. I was able to attend the writing group for the first time last week and we celebrated with Joules that she had finished writing her book. “Shaken not Stirred…a chemo cocktail” is about her journey with breast cancer (learn more about it on her website www.joulesevans.com ). Joules shared the bottle of wine her husband had given her as a “carrot” to finish her book- it was yummy. They (Joules & David) have other gifted children, in addition to Mike overseas. Their daughter Amanda, also wrote a blog post about the “Let it Snow” event (read it here: http://www.beadedhope.org/blog/do-good/burlap-sacks-and-itchy-crosses-live-reading-of-beaded-hope#comments ) and she’s a singer/songwriter. Their son Matt can take you on a complete Spider Man tour of NYC (among other things, I’m sure).

So, there you have it- a rambling tale of God’s inspiration, hope, dreams, and divine introductions. I haven’t posted in a long while because on top of all of the above I got a promotion at work that required lots of overtime during the transition from one department to another, plus I was busy with Nativity The Pop Opera (see previous post for more info on that). And the month of January I was giving myself extra grace and down time to fully recover from the extreme busy-ness of November and December. Now, I’m off to apply for grants to pay for the documentary. I think we’ll start actively filming again in March. In the meantime, much preparation is needed in every way. Please say a prayer for everything mentioned in this blog post: Jennifer & Beaded Hope, Shaken not Stirred, Joules’ family, and the documentary I’m making. Please pray that God’s perfect truth and grace shines through all these projects and that His Glory is exemplified through all of us who are being His hands and feet.

Peace, Hope, Love, & SOUL

2010-09-21T00:43:00.000-04:00

Divine intervention made me pursue bringing "Nativity: The Pop Opera" to Cincinnati this coming Christmas season. In February 2009 a free issue of Ohio Magazine arrived in my office. I usually just put the free magazines in the waiting room of the clinic. The only reason I took this particular issue home was because the cover declared it was the "Green Issue" and had tips about how to live an eco-friendly lifestyle in Ohio. I like to do what I can to reduce-reuse-recycle, so I took it home to read.

That Ohio Magazine sat on my coffee table for at least a month before I finally picked it up to flip through the pages. Somewhere in the middle was an article titled "Picture Perfect" and it was about a guy from Dayton, Ohio who works as a storyboard artist for major Hollywood movies. In fact, J. Todd Anderson has been the storyboard artist for every movie the Coen Brothers have made since "Raising Arizona" - one of my all-time favorite movies. In fact, I'm a big fan of Coen Brothers' movies in general. So I read the entire article. I was completely intrigued by the fact that this guy with a major Hollywood connection still lived in Dayton.

Towards the end of the article, it mentioned J. Todd had written something called "Nativity: The Pop Opera" that had been performed at a church in Dayton. What? A guy who works for the Coen Brothers wrote a "musical" about the birth of Jesus? Really? What inspired him to do such a thing? Was he a Christian? Did he lose a game of Truth or Dare? Was it his Nanna's last dying wish that he write something to rival "Godspell" or what? I had to know.

Good thing I had honed my internet research skills at a former job digging up potential dirt on physicians recruited to work on military bases! The article also said J. Todd did a show on Dayton's public radio with another guy about the best movies ever made. On the website for that show I found an email link. So, I sent an email that basically asked for more info about "Nativity: The Pop Opera." I didn't think he'd actually respond himself. Well, he DID respond himself.

J. Todd explained that the Dayton shows raised funds for Dayton Children's Hospital. He said that he had been considering approaching Cincinnati Children's Hospital to produce it as a fund raiser in Cincinnati. I told him that since I work at Cincinnati Children's, I could probably help! Specifically, I knew we needed help paying the costs of our summer camp for patients with cancer and bleeding disorders. Polly, the woman with a passion for making sure our patients got to go to camp, was thrilled to have a new fund raising option! But first we had to convince the hospital's Development office. The only way to do that was to go see the show in Dayton. Four of us went last December and we LOVED it!

"Nativity: The Pop Opera" is a magical, light-hearted pop opera that tells the Christmas story through the eyes of the angels. There is a band on stage and J. Todd wrote great songs in a variety of styles. The wise men are actually part of the band and called the three wise-guys. They look like ZZ Top. The angels have super tall wings, designed by J. Todd. The chorus of one song repeats, "Peace, Hope, Love & Soul" and that sums up the heart of this pop opera. The whole show is mesmerizing and fun mixed with inspiring beauty. It is first class entertainment for the whole family! The success of this show will provide funding to send patients from Cincinnati Children's Hospital Cancer & Blood Diseases Institute for an unforgettable week at camp. If you'd like to audition, get tickets or be an underwriter for production costs, please leave a comment. Thanks!

The Art of the Storyboard

2010-09-16T13:04:00.001-04:00

The Art of the Storyboard

Something I’ve noticed as I explain my screenplay visions to people, is that very few have any clue how much work goes into making a movie. Even crappy movies require tons of time, money, and effort to produce. One technique directors use to keep their film on schedule and on budget, and in most cases to secure financial backing so that they even HAVE a budget to work with- is to hire a storyboard artist.

This is what my friend J. Todd Anderson does and does with excellence. He sits with directors of movies (most consistantly, the Coen brothers) for long hours of long days for long weeks drawing sketches of the vision in their head. This is no easy task- often the directors have a difficult time describing the vision in their head in such a way that J. Todd can draw it accurately. J. Todd says he wads up and throws away hundreds of sketches while attempting to get the director’s vision drawn to satisfaction.

Recently, J. Todd was sharing stories about his work on the Men in Black movies. I asked him what it was like drawing some of the super imaginative aliens in the early stages. That, he admitted, was left to the CGI creatives, and he usually just drew a sketch of a figure about the size they wanted and labeled it things like “alien with 3 eyes” for the purpose of the storyboard.

I find the whole process fascinating. So, I am glad I have the opportunity to see him demonstrate this talent for a room full of art students tonight. If you can’t make it to his presentation on short notice, his sketches will remain on display through October 15th at the Art Academy of Cincinnati on Jackson Street.

Life to the FULL!

2010-08-28T12:53:00.003-04:00

This week I have had two separate conversations with two different friends about what it means to live life to the full. What does a full life look like? And what, exactly, did Jesus intend with that promise? These two friends have very different backgrounds and we are all in different places in our spiritual growth.

Can a celibate life be a full life? One friend isn’t sure about that. The other friend has been a practicing lesbian for nearly 20 years. But ever since she was baptized in June…she’s looking at relationships differently. She has not been coaxed by any friends or Pharisees to shift her thinking. Really. You can ask her and she will tell you that nobody has tried to convince her she should stop being a lesbian. And she’s still not totally sure she will never be with another woman. What she does know, is that God loves her more than any other being ever could. And she says she feels like she is falling in love when she talks about her faith. And because she is falling in love with God, she does not want to dishonor the intimacy she is feeling with Him by pursuing sexual intimacy with women (or men) at this point. And she totally gets that by making that choice, she is living an abundantly full life. She loves God and seeks emotional satisfaction from Him. And when she has doubts, she reads her bible.

After examining what “life to the full” looks like in these two passionate conversations, I then got the message below from a friend who moved away last summer. Before she left, she said she’d pray for my writing endeavors. She said:

“Hi Emily! So, I’m praying for you and your future as a writer. I am part of a prayer group where we pray for the women of our church. We pray a scripture and most nights I like to pray their names in the scripture. I have been praying your name now, too. This month we have been praying for spiritual wisdom and understanding. One of the verses for this month is Eph. 3: 16-19. After praying this verse over several days, it hit me how our knowledge of God's love for us is intricately tied in to us understanding him, tapping in to the life and power that he has for us and shaping our future. As these verses state, the knowledge of his love for us anchors us in the world. The very cool part about this whole interchange is that God desires for us to know him and wants to empower us. When God uses his power the conduit is always wisdom and understanding.

So, my friend, I pray for you today to have the love of God seep through your pores and invade your very being. I then pray for the knowledge of that love to unlock dreams and to nurture you forward.

I cannot wait to see the outcome! You and Jesus on a special love journey that explodes in your art!

Best wishes for a delightful ride!”

I am blessed beyond measure to have a friendship with the woman who wrote the encouraging note above. I don’t feel comfortable sharing the gritty details because it involves very personal pains involving my ex-husband. But I will say that our friendship is a shining example of what is possible when two people work through a difficult and heartbreaking situation in full surrender to the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love. With that, please enjoy the truth and grace that prompted her note:

Ephesians 3:16-19 (The Message) 14-19My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you'll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.

By embracing the redemption available through the sacrifice of Jesus, a full life comes in the midst of: healing after a broken marriage ends; and in the midst of re-examining sexual habits; and in the midst of applying God’s creative inspiration to who we are and the work we’ve been given.

Failure of Imagination

2010-08-21T02:09:00.001-04:00

“Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don't be impressed with yourself. Don't compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.” -Galatians 6:4, The Message

I have been thinking about how God created us in His image and all that entails. It’s really rather mind blowing when I think about God’s infinite creativity. I mean, have you ever watched one of those nature shows about some bizarre creature (whether insect, wildlife, or sea urchin) that you have never seen before? And the guy being interviewed has spent years of his life studying this bizarre creature. The guy knows almost everything about the way it communicates, how it hunts, how it hides, how it reproduces, etc. And yet, the expert usually admits the creature is still a mystery. Whenever I watch one of those shows, I sit slack-jawed at God’s creativity.

Then I think about my own vivid imagination. My imagination can be so active that I often joke that it needs a playmate. However, it pales in comparison to what God can and HAS already created. Yet, God created me in His image. Why? So I can use the imagination He has given me to share His truth and grace with others.

In my case, my imagination and creativity manifests most naturally in writing stories. I don’t know why. I have always expressed myself and communicated most efficiently, effectively, and humorously in writing. For many years I wrote with no focus. I sensed my writing should have a bigger purpose, but I wasn’t sure what that was. Now that I let God break my heart for what makes His heart break, I want my writing to reflect His vision.

I have movie ideas in my head. I have more than two or three ideas. And I am very aware of the impact that motion pictures can and do have on people’s lives. Movies can simultaneously teach and entertain with an intimacy invisible to the naked eye. When I think about the why’s and how’s of marrying the movies brewing in my God-given imagination with God’s vision for his children, I realize why I have always liked this quote from a print in my bathroom:

“In my dream, the angel shrugged
And said, if we fail this time,
It will be a failure of the imagination
And then she placed the world gently
In the palm of my hand” -Brian Andreas

I became a fan of Brian Andreas when I stumbled upon his playful and provoking word art at a funky Philadelphia store in the early 90's. Being a writer, the first print I purchased was about stories. For several years after that, my mom gave me either a Brian Andreas print or book for every Christmas and Birthday. So, I have a nice little collection. Now I have my small gallery of his colorful prints hanging in my bathroom. I figure it gives my guests something interesting to read while sitting on the toilet.

Gibson & Katrina

2010-08-12T00:19:00.005-04:00

Gibson lost a lot of hope over the past few years. An older gentleman, he lost his job and almost lost his house. He had been fixing up his house himself whenever he could. He may have been feeling a little invisible, left out, or maybe even bitter when a large crew showed up next door to work on a Habitat for Humanity project.

As he sat alone in his yard, Gibson watched the workers sawing, hammering, mixing cement- he probably felt insignificant. There were so many of them working like a well oiled machine. They seemed to be having fun. But he noticed that when they stopped for lunch, they had no shade- no relief from the blaring sun. And there wasn’t enough room for the large group to spread out. Some of them even ate their lunch sitting right next to the port-o-potty.

Gibson’s yard had some shade trees and plenty of room. Somehow he gathered the courage to invite these many strangers to eat their lunch on his lawn. Grateful for a better place to rest, the group started asking Gibson about his life, hopes, and needs. They learned how he had struggled and how he had been trying to make it on his own- repairing his own house however he could. They learned how to love Gibson.

One woman bought a card to express her love for Gibson. And she wanted to share more than just her love, so she passed the card around to the whole team. One by one, without any need for coaxing, they filled the card with tangible love for their new friend.

Gibson had bills he didn’t know how he could pay. He felt ashamed and depressed about his uncertain future. The Habitat helpers looked for Gibson their last day on that job site. But he wouldn’t come out of his house. He was already down and didn’t want to face saying good-bye. But that woman who bought the card… she couldn’t leave and return home, several states away, without giving Gibson that envelope full of love.

That woman, transformed by love deeper than her fears, knocked on Gibson’s door and lured him out of his darkness. The people waiting for him outside in the bright day knew how Katrina had broken his spirit. That is why they were there. They had left the comfort of their own homes, hundreds of miles away, with the purpose to rebuild what had been wrecked by Hurricane Katrina. The woman, who seemed most affected by the bond with Gibson, joined this service trip thinking she could help rebuild a house. As she handed the envelope to Gibson, she realized she had helped build hope and love, too. When Gibson opened the card, he found over $600 – enough to pay those bills. In that moment, hope filled Gibson to the full and a wave of love washed over every witness.

This story is dedicated to the 300+ people who travelled to New Orleans in July with a team from my church community. It’s inspired by Gibson’s story- shared by my friend, Tania, over dinner recently. It is also inspired by my friend, Chelle- she courageously invited her friend, who has doubted God’s truth & grace, to experience God’s transformational love with her, first hand on this service trip to NOLA.

The Power of One: Spirit Union- Holy & Human

2010-08-07T12:58:00.004-04:00

When I got to work the other day I was greeted with a smile and an excited, “Did you see Julia? She’s back!” As I rounded the corner, there she was in the middle of a group of people beaming with joy. She was beaming with joy and the people surrounding her were like rays of her joy. She was dressed in her favorite bright pastel colors, including a sunshine yellow newsboy cap to hide her bald head.

The sunshine yellow cap was a perfect choice since Julia has always had a sunny disposition. Including the day she went to the doctor last winter because she thought maybe she had an internal bruise or torn muscle from shoveling snow after the storm. That was either a Monday or Tuesday, I think. The doctor sent her for a biopsy immediately. By Thursday or Friday she was on an aggressive regimen of chemotherapy. We were told they were not sure when Julia would return back to work.

Julia and I had not talked in depth about our faith before. But we both knew the other had deep faith. We had shared moments of intimate tears… when I told her how my boss supported & encouraged me through my divorce (while she interviewed me for an article about his 35 years with the hospital), we cried together. When my dad died, she shared how she got through her dad’s death, and we cried. As we had impromptu chats in the hallway, we’d get teary and need to move along before the tears consumed our day.

But seeing her at work for the first time in five months reminded me, in full color, how resilient the human spirit can be, especially when united by faith with the Holy Spirit. I have seen news reports about how a person diagnosed with cancer will have a better chance of surviving if they have a positive attitude. Some have even been more specific that a person’s faith affects their survival chances. That is probably true and a nice thought to think. However, what I see in Julia is surrender! She lives in surrender to the peace and comfort given by the Holy Spirit within her. She has surrendered to letting God use her and this experience of enduring cancer however He sees fit. Julia chooses to be grateful for her life, friends and family - even (maybe especially) on the days she is weak with pain and physical discomfort. She has a hope that surpasses her hope of surviving cancer. Her hope is that she can continue to be a servant of God, regardless of her health.

“I know God is using prayer warriors like you to help me on this journey and my job is just to be His servant in all of this.” -Julia

That quote by Julia is from an email reply to me a couple of days ago. The words, “I know,” demonstrate her faith in the power of one. She has faith that God will never leave nor forsake her, that He always surrounds her with His love, and that His love prevails. His love prevails in the union of prayers prayed, guided by the Holy Spirit, with the collective faith of her friends and family. In those moments of prayer for Julia, we are mystically united as one with God and Julia by a common denominator: God’s Holy Spirit dwelling within each of us.

Therein lays a tale of God’s love, truth and grace.

Eleven syllable, unpronounceable substitute for the word tool

2010-08-03T06:26:00.003-04:00

The other night I woke up at 2 a.m. and couldn’t get back to sleep. So, I got up for a while. I don’t remember whether I watched T.V. or what. But eventually, I picked up the book my dad had bought for me when Billy Collins did a reading at Miami University about 12 years ago. My dad knew my passion for writing and had asked me to go with him. But I had to work. Dad said he had wanted to get the book signed by Billy for me, but the line was too long. Looking back, that is one of my sweetest memories of my father.

My favorite selection from my Wee Hours poetry reading was this one:

Thesaurus

It could be the name of a prehistoric beast
that roamed the Paleozoic earth, rising up
on its hind legs to show off its large vocabulary,
or some lover in a myth who is metamorphosed into a book.

It means treasury, but it is just a place
where words congregate with their relatives,
a big park where hundreds of family reunions
are always being held,
house, home, abode, dwelling, lodgings, and digs,
all sharing the same picnic basket and thermos;
hairy, hirsute, woolly, furry, fleecy, and shaggy
all running a sack race or throwing horseshoes,
inert, static, motionless, fixed and immobile
standing and kneeling in rows for a group photograph.

Here father is next to sire and brother close
to sibling, separated only by fine shades of meaning.
And every group has its odd cousin, the one
who traveled the farthest to be here:
astereognosis, polydipsia, or some eleven
syllable, unpronounceable substitute for the word tool.
Even their own relatives have to squint at their name tags.

I can see my own copy up on a high shelf.
I rarely open it, because I know there is no
such thing as a synonym and because I get nervous
around people who always assemble with their own kind,
forming clubs and nailing signs to closed front doors
while others huddle alone in the dark streets.

I would rather see words out on their own, away
from their families and the warehouse of Roget,
wandering the world where they sometimes fall
in love with a completely different word.
Surely, you have seen pairs of them standing forever
next to each other on the same line inside a poem,
a small chapel where weddings like these,
between perfect strangers, can take place.

I had never really thought about it before, but for a writer, his declaration that there is no such thing as a synonym is true. Yet, when I am writing, I do tend to use the thesaurus as a tool- precisely for the fine tuning of meanings. I study the related words as if they are puzzle pieces. I try each one in the sentence until I find the perfect fit for the context. When I write a poem, I’ve been known to keep extrapolating definitions of contextual relatives in the thesaurus until I’m so far down the rabbit hole that I’m only running into those odd cousins and going mad trying to grasp why I wasn’t happy with the first cousin.

Then I started thinking about words where a so-called-synonym would never do. Grace is one of those words. I can’t imagine kindness, decency, or benevolence sounding as amazing as grace.

And I love the last stanza of Billy’s poem. I need to live in that world of wandering words more often when I write. And learn how to lean less on the thesaurus crutch. But I still think it is a very useful tool, gizmo, apparatus, or device.

Juicy Fruit

2010-07-17T23:50:00.002-04:00

Yes, my posts have been few and far between over the past year. I could list a million boring excuses. But for the most part, I have been busy and my life has been full of juicy fruit! Friends, concerts, travel, moving- my oh my! I've missed writing, though. And writing posts for this blog is good for my soul. When I write, I feel I'm using the gifts God gives me. I think God wired me to express my thoughts and feelings in writing. When I write, I ponder God's Truth & Grace and how it shows up in unexpected places. So, I ask God to keep me abiding so that I may bear fruit. It probably won't be so long between posts in the coming year. I think I'll want to share my future fruit.

Intimacy of Redemption Take 2- True Freedom

2010-03-28T10:48:00.002-04:00

I had an online (Facebook) chat Tuesday night with a good friend I hadn't talked to in many years (15 at least). Steve was the main guy who started the whole GANG of Friends who "lived" at my house for a couple of years in high school. To get an idea of this gang of friends and the environment at the house, listen to the song “Our House” by Madness. It describes it near perfectly. The chat with Steve was great in itself. He probably has no idea how much it impacted me, but just going down memory lane with him was the reminder I needed to love Mom for who she is and to appreciate the love she gives me no matter how she chooses to give it to me. Steve asked me to tell Mom that he’s forever grateful for what she did for us. I have been so busy working through my own “issues” with Mom, I had almost forgotten to love Mom for who she IS. Steve told me to listen to the song, "These are the Days of our Lives" by Queen in the midst of our chat. So after we logged off I listened to the Queen song and sobbed and sobbed. On the other side, I have a new clarity about the times in my life where Satan’s lies led me astray. It was a moment of intimate redemption for me.

I’m not sure if I coined the term “intimate redemption” but I notice I am the only one who uses it or who knows what it means. But I’d be willing to bet that most people have had at least one experience of “intimate redemption” in their lives. I think what I am trying to capture with the term “intimate redemption” is those moments when the perfect balance of God’s perfect Truth and perfect Grace consume me and it feels like a unique balm was mixed especially for me to heal a pain I had swept under a rug. Sometimes the catalyst to a moment of intimate redemption is conversation, a movie or a song. For me, the moment is always flushed with tears until my soul is clear. God created my inmost being. In these moments I praise Him that I am fearfully and wonderfully made by Him. God is so good like that!

To be free...

2010-01-19T07:16:00.002-05:00

"To be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others." -Nelson Mandela

That quote is on a t-shirt I got at the Apartheid Museum in Johannesburg, South Africa. And a few months ago I heard a man speak who lives by that motto naturally. I have no idea if he's ever read that quote, but I get the feeling he wholeheartedly lives it. This man who lives this quote doesn't even know his real name. He goes by Jean-Robert Cadet which was the name his owners gave him in order to bring him to the U.S. from Haiti. Yes, I said "his owners." Jean-Robert was a Restavek. Restavek is a creole word that means "stays with" and it accurately describes the life of a child slave in Haiti.

Most of Jean-Robert's childhood was more like the life of an abused dog- he was not treated like a human with feelings. He was treated like an object- a possession- and beaten badly if he behaved any other way. Once his owners moved him to the U.S., he was eventually discovered by truancy officers. That's when he started going to school and learning that he didn't have to live as a slave any longer. He learned how to escape to freedom. He went on to college, got married and had children. And he started a foundation to help free more children from slavery. Here's the link (if you want to learn more about his story) to his foundation's website: www.restavekfreedom.org

Jean-Robert is part of my church community. Last May my church sent a shipment of 7,000 meals to the foundation's orphanage in Haiti which holds over 100 children saved from slavery. However, those meals sat on the docks in Port-au-Prince waiting for customs clearance ever since May. We got word last week that the food was finally delivered to the orphanage the morning of January 12th...just a couple of hours before the earthquake hit. In the midst of devastation, God is so Good.

I wrote this piece on MLK Day because Martin Luther King, Jr. lived in a way that respected and enhanced the freedom of others. He is famous for his civil rights activism, but his speeches are applicable to ALL people's freedoms. Didn't he say something about his dream being that one day a person would be judged by their character and not by the color of their skin? I think he said it more than once!

If you read the speeches of Martin Luther King, Jr. (and I highly recommend doing that), you will notice that all his speeches quote the Bible. Because he knew the true source of his freedom was his faith in the truth and grace of Jesus Christ, who came to teach us ALL how to be FREE!

Story of Service

2009-10-19T22:22:00.004-04:00

MLK, Jr. once said, "Anyone can be great because anyone can serve." If a life of service is a guage for greatness, then my dad was a truly great man. I cannot remember a time when my dad was not in service to his community in some way. He was always volunteering for a community project, a committee for community enrichment, and involved in organizations that focus on community enrichment. Many of my childhood memories of my dad are related to going with him on one of these volunteer efforts.

I don't think I ever questioned the benefits of volunteering or serving selflessly. Being in service is my Dad's legacy. All 4 of us, his children, have a heart for volunteering and building into our community. In whatever way we can, using whatever talents we have. And serving others regardless of our personal circumstances.

I was just thinking of my Dad's legacy of service today. He passed away 2 years ago, October 19, 2007. I am always noticing little ways I'm like my Dad, like my natural ability and desire to find the least traveled route to work. And my passion for volunteering- serving my community and people.

I thought about my dad's legacy of service when my brother called tonight to report his latest fund raising success. Tonight's fund raising report was regarding a woman who just lost her 18 month old child due to the physical abuse from her boyfriend. My brother has lived a troubled somewhat self destructive life. And yet when he hears of a tragedy in his community he jumps in to help however he can. He offers his ideas, enthusiasm, and his talents without hesitation. Tonight he shared how he and his friends raised enough money to pay for the funeral and a nice headstone for this 18 month old. And the one thousand plus dollars left after that are being donated to a fund for other abused children. If you just knew my brothers personal experiences you might be impressed. But if you knew our dad, it's no surprise.

My sister's do the same. They are both teachers and truly invest in their students. Plus they volunteer in their church communities, and always help others in need.

I can think of no better mirror of the great man my dad was than the stories my siblings and I live in lives of service.

Miami, Money, and Popcorn

2009-06-20T10:27:00.008-04:00

My cousin, Richard, runs a sports radio station in Houston, Texas (KGOW, you can stream it online at www.1560thegame.com). His lovely wife, Laura, helps run the station which, I'm sure, blurs the line of work life/home life a bit. I think that might be why Laura has been encouraging Richard to find a different creative outlet on the weekends...so he doesn't spend their weekends at home creating stuff for work. So, Richard started writing these little essays about people in his life. The essay below is a tribute to my father. I'm sharing it now, in honor of Father's Day and with gratitude that my dad's role as a father figure didn't stop with his own children.

MIAMI, MONEY AND POPCORN
MY UNCLE ED KIMBALL

My Uncle Ed was my favorite uncle. At least that is what I always told him when my other uncles were not within earshot. He was a wonderful, loving man that always took a special interest in me growing up, and enjoyed my updates as an adult in the business world.

He was a Miami Man like no other I have known. All of my aunts and uncles, my mother and father, and some cousins attended Miami University in Oxford, Ohio. Out of all of us, Ed was the proudest. Following the football and basketball programs (home and away), checking on the Sigma Phi Epsilon fraternity, and proudly supporting Tom O. Hawk, a colorful bird mascot which I inhabited for two years; Ed loved him some Miami. When the big house in Middletown where he and Marilyn raised my cousins Beth, Sue, Ned and Emily was empty, Ed and Marilyn moved to a condo in Oxford.

He was an international tax accountant by trade, but he taught me some of my first lessons about money. When I told him I was reading Trump: The Art of the Deal, he asked me to check in with him after I was done. After telling him how much I enjoyed the book, he deconstructed Trump and his ego to reveal that Trump’s father was the source for a lot of the Donald’s claims to money, ego and fame. When I told him before graduating from college that I wanted to be a millionaire, he broke down the tax implications, interest, and just how far I could get with a million dollars. I realized that being a millionaire was going to be a lot of work.

And any time our families got together, which was quite often, he would make the kids popcorn. We’re not talking about a little bowl for each child. We’re talking pots and pots and bowls and bowls, until every kid was stuffed. What fun.

I miss my Uncle Ed every day. But as I look around my home study at all of my Miami memorabilia, as I stand on the edge of being financially comfortable, and every night that I make popcorn for my wife Laura and my children Jack and Grace, I take comfort in that we are still getting a kick out of each other.

I am blessed to have had a dad like my dad. The older I get and the more people I meet, the more grateful I am for my father who played the father role in so many ways to so many friends and family. Thanks, Rich, for sharing your memories of Dad and for being a great dad to your children, Jack and Grace.

My dad passed away in October 2007. I miss him in some of the same ways Richard does. I just popped a bunch of popcorn last night for a trip to the Drive-In with friends- and thought of Dad. And, I miss him with all my own special memories of him.

Prayer Pact

2009-04-29T22:17:00.004-04:00

The power of prayer is amazing. Just the concept of prayer is mind blowing. We can talk to GOD, almighty creator of everything, anytime and it's called prayer. And when two or more are gathered in prayer, it's exponential. Some days I'll just thank God for prayer, plain and simple.

I keep a prayer journal. It's full of raw, honest, prayers. I have been keeping a prayer journal for several years, so I actually have several notebooks full of prayers. I noticed that there is at least one theme that I've been praying about for a couple of years. They are prayers for myself, for something I desire. Recently I had a conversation with a friend where we discovered we have both been praying similar prayers for ourselves for that something we desire. And we discussed how redundant it seemed and that we felt a little selfish for it. So I proposed a pact. Beginning that day I started praying for her for that desire specifically and she started praying for me for that. We both felt it was easier to pray for each other for that desire instead of always praying for ourselves. And after a few days we shared what we noticed.

What we noticed was mostly little shifts in perceptions. We were both having insights we hadn't had before in the area of this desire. Neither of us got an immediate concrete result. Yet we knew the pact was working. We were thinking in unprecendented ways and realizing deeper internal beliefs that affected our outward behavior. After the first couple of weeks I noticed my prayers for her were less intentional and more like random thoughts and quick little prayers.

Then I got this message from my friend, Stacie, on FaceBook:
"I'll be praying" sounds good but when daily stuff takes my mind of it, it gets lost sometimes. I want to try to make my prayers deliberate and am going to use my blog to do so. Wanna join me? ;)"

I was immediately inspired! And Stacie has written some awesome blog posts since then. You can check them out at www.faithandart.blogspot.com However, all my initial inspiration has faded momentarily. I know it will return. I've just been distracted. But in the meantime, something I can always offer is a good ol' plain ol' prayer. And in God's eyes, there is nothing mundane about it. He listens always. He is good all the time. Let us pray:

"Lord, thank You for the gift of prayer. Thank you for giving us such a simple way to engage You and Your Holy Spirit. When I pray, I can acknowledge You for Who You ARE and know You created me and love me. I can confess anything I have in my life I know does not honor You and know You forgive me and love me. I can thank you for all Your blessings and know that You gave them because You love me. I can ask for whatever I think I want or need and know You hear me and love me. And prayer can be silence, filled with Your presence and basking in Your luscious love. And when I pray, I pray with faith in Your faithfulness. Amen."

This is Why

2009-04-13T14:25:00.000-04:00

On Friday I got to witness a spontaneous and authentic precious moment. My friend Stacie is an artist and she co-organized an art show for Good Friday with another artist named Teresa. The focus was to show the connection between art & faith, and the creativity within each of us given by our Creator. The event took place at Compass Church in a suburb of Cincinnati. And given the context of the event, a Communion station was available. Stacie’s seven year old son, Sean, asked why it was there. I know Sean has seen people take Communion before. But when his dad, Rusty, explained that it was Good Friday, and taking Communion was a way of remembering that Jesus broke His body and spilled His blood for us, Sean was upset. In fact, Sean started to cry.

Stacie and Rusty are faith-full parents and they had told their two sons about Easter before. This seemed to be the first time it was all sinking in for seven year old Sean. Stacie and Rusty did not take this lightly and seized the moment to talk to Sean and answer his questions about Good Friday and Easter. It was getting close to 9 p.m. and the art show was winding down, but there were still lots of people around and other kids running, playing, and doing their best to create distractions. But Sean’s attention to his parents and their attention to him did not waver for at least 15 minutes while they had their intimate moment. I was not a part of their moment, but for a few sweet minutes I was within earshot. My heart swelled with gratitude for the moment and God’s love.

Sean was having a hard time understanding how Jesus could have come back to life and that He still lives. Stacie and Rusty told him it was normal to struggle with that concept. They explained that is how faith works. It takes a leap of faith for anyone to accept that as truth. No matter how old a person is, the idea of a human being tortured and killed, yet rising from the dead, and his burial tomb being found empty seems unreal. Adding to that the fact that it ALL happened because God’s love for us is deeper than any love we can experience from any other human. It’s a lot to grasp. Yet millions of people all over the world from all sorts of backgrounds, ages, levels of intelligence and variety of talents have taken that leap of faith and we are all living proof of God’s perfect truth and grace.

Sean’s honest reaction to the news of Good Friday and Easter was embraced and addressed by his biological mother and father. The bible tells us that our Heavenly Father rejoices over us and delights in us. I know God was rejoicing over Sean’s questions and delighting in Stacie & Rusty’s surrender to the moment. It’s in these moments where I am blessed to be a witness that I KNOW my Redeemer Lives! And this precious moment I just shared? THIS IS WHY I have faith and praise God’s perfect truth and grace.

Grace inside a Sound

2009-03-28T23:21:00.003-04:00

I have a habit of relating song lyrics to books, movies, prayer requests, television, events at work, and life experiences. Most of the time, the lyrics make a silly connection to whatever occupies my brain. Every once in a while, I feel more inspired. The week the new U2 CD came out I was reading the book of Luke. When I heard these lyrics:

These days are better than that

Every day I die again, and again I’m reborn

Every day I have to find the courage

To walk out into the street

With arms out, got a love you can’t defeat

Neither down or out

There’s nothing you have that I need

I can breathe, Breathe now

I couldn’t stop thinking about the lines below from Luke. These lines are from a section titled “Lambs in a Wolf Pack” where Jesus sends 70 (or 72) men out carrying nothing but a few toiletries and the simple charge to knock on doors and say “Peace” to whoever answers. I am quoting from The Message translation with highlights for emphasis below:

“When you enter a town and are received, eat what they set before you, heal anyone who is sick, and tell them, ‘God’s Kingdom is right on your doorstep!’ When you enter a town and are not received, go out in the street and say ‘The only thing we got from you is the dirt on our feet, and we’re giving it back. Did you have any idea that God’s Kingdom was right on your doorstep?’ Sodom will have it better on Judgment Day than the town that rejects you.”

LUKE 10: 8-12

“The one who listens to you, listens to me. The one who rejects you, rejects me. And rejecting me is the same as rejecting God, who sent me.” The seventy came back triumphant. “Master, even the demons danced to your tune!” Jesus said, “I know, I saw Satan fall, a bolt of lightening out of the sky. See what I’ve given you? Safe passage as you walk on snakes and scorpions, and protection from every assault of the Enemy. No one can put a hand on you. All the same, the great triumph is not in your authority over evil, but in God’s authority over you and presence with you. Not what you do for God but what God does for you- that’s the agenda for rejoicing.”

LUKE 10: 16-20

For me, the lyrics above from Breathe bring extra depth and life to the story above from Luke. When I abide in God’s truth, I find grace. And if I share God’s truth and I’m rejected, I have the peace, strength and courage of God’s Kingdom to say, “There’s nothing you have that I need, I’m neither down or out, I have a love you can’t defeat, so I can breathe.”

“I’ve found grace inside a sound, I found grace, it’s all that I found, and I can breathe.” –U2, Track 10, No Line on the Horizon, Breathe

In the Zone

2009-03-20T12:19:00.002-04:00

While hanging with my brother the other day, he mentioned a memory from when we lived in New Orleans. We lived in New Orleans for the first five years of my life, so he didn’t think I’d remember the event he described. I didn’t, but said that I did have vivid memories from New Orleans. He figured riding my bike with a cast on my leg was one, and he was right. This made me think about how important music was to me and one of my earliest memories of the impact music has had on my life. I just shared this particular memory in a FaceBook note tag craze titled “15 albums that impacted my life.” However, here I will segue into songs that I connect with deeply and put me in what I call THE ZONE.

Briefly, when I was 4, the boy across the street intentionally rode his bike over my legs, breaking my right leg. This put me in some sort of shock and I stopped talking. I was pretty much a zombie for most of the day. Several hours after we returned from the hospital, I was still unresponsive. So my mom put on the soundtrack to Oliver! Almost immediately I came out of my trance and started connecting with my family. Throughout the years, I noticed there were certain songs that would put me in The Zone where I felt a special deep connection that seemed beyond words of description. I could say the lyrics mean something special, but sometimes the lyrics don’t make that much sense apart from the music. Most recently the song that puts me in The Zone is “Moment of Surrender” on U2’s new CD. Below I’ve listed a few more songs that take me into The Zone. I have written about some of these in other blog posts.

*Whole of the Moon – The Waterboys
*Harvest Moon or Old Man – Neil Young
*Go on Through- Afro Celt Sound System
*Paradise or Idaho- The BoDeans
*Northern Star- Ollabelle
*Much Farther to Go – Rosie Thomas
*All at Sea or My Yard – Jamie Cullum (or his cover of High and Dry)
*In the Sun – Joseph Arthur
*Girl in the War, Wolves, or Temptation of Adam- Josh Ritter
*North Dakota – Lyle Lovett
*Mercy Street – Peter Gabriel
*Day of Reckoning – Robbie Robertson (or his original of Broken Arrow)
*Fragile, Dead Man’s Rope, or Mad About You – Sting
*This is the Day – The The (most recently used in an M&M’s ad, what the heck?)
*Beauty of a Dream- Thomas Dolby
*Protected- Tim Finn
*All I Want is You, One, When I look at the World, or An Cat Dubh – U2

Most people can relate to that “In the Zone” feeling. Surrendering to The Zone submerges me in feeling completely comfortable with truth, consumed by grace, and intimately loved.

Intimacy of Redemption

2009-03-14T13:49:00.004-04:00

Last week the intimacy of redemption caught me off guard. I had only met the people I was with that night an hour before. There is no possible way I could have known how they would act as profound vehicles of God’s deep love and knowledge of me. They still don’t know. They didn’t notice the tears of gratitude trickling throughout the evening. While these new friends shared bits of their past to illustrate answers to simple questions posed, I felt Jesus surrounding me. The Jesus who knew how many men the woman at the well had been with when he told her he was the permanent remedy to her thirst for love. The Jesus who knew the hidden pains of the people who were about to throw stones at the woman caught in adultery. The Jesus who knows me intimately and redeems childhood pains both experienced and witnessed I thought were long buried. The next day I cried the tears I had tucked away when I withdrew from love gone astray. And then I sent an email to a couple of friends. Here’s an excerpt:

I don't know if I've ever told you about my brother and the troubles he's been in over the years. I can't really explain the deep & intimate healing I'm experiencing. This is healing only God could possibly know I needed. This is a depth of God's love I didn't even know I was missing. For some reason beyond my current comprehension, He is using these people to show me a tangible redemption that is somehow healing the pain I witnessed and experienced as a child growing up in the shadow of my brother. Pain so old I had totally dismissed it and swept it under the rug.

The movie “Bella” demonstrates the intimacy of redemption beautifully. Jose and Nina spend a day together, simply being together with no agenda. Their day together is prompted by a simple offer made by Jose to talk about an unplanned pregnancy troubling Nina. It’s really a typical day in NYC. I’ve had NYC days like that, but not for those reasons. I love those days when going with the flow reveals incredibly juicy fruits. In “Bella” Jose is struggling with flashbacks of a tragic event that changed his life. The movie is journey that shows the grace of a family’s love and how to accept hardships and truly count them as joy. Mostly, “Bella” shows how simple acts of love and friendship can provide deep unprecedented healing for all involved.

The perfection of God’s truth and grace will redeem all pain. Yes, even that one…the one we try to control by hiding it away. As I have been pondering the intimacy of redemption this week, these lyrics have played repeatedly in my head,

“At the moment of surrender, a vision over visibility…” –U2

The best thing about the intimacy of God’s redemption is that it requires nothing of us but a willingness to live in surrender to His Will.

Saved from Sex Slavery

2009-03-01T21:14:00.015-05:00

Some friends recently returned from a week in Mumbai. They went to share God’s love with girls who were recently rescued from forced prostitution. Each year, an estimated 600,000 to 800,000 men, women, and children are trafficked across international borders (some international and non-governmental organizations place the number far higher), and the trade is growing. (

U.S.

Department of State. 2004. Trafficking in Persons Report. Washington, D.C.:

U.S.

Department of State.) Of the 600,000-800,000 people trafficked across international borders each year, 70 percent are female and 50 percent are children. The majority of these victims are forced into the commercial sex trade. (Ibid.)

These girls in Mumbai had either been sold by their families into prostitution or kidnapped into the sex trade. Before meeting the girls they were there to serve, the team (about 40 people from my church community) was taken through the red light district in taxis. Some of the comments after the red light district tour included, “We were just 8 feet away from a girl being raped,” and “the eyes of the girls were blank-no life.”

My friend, Jamie, posted a note on FaceBook to sum up her experience. Here are a few excerpts:

“Trash is everywhere. In the streets, on top of shanty roofs, in the streams, lakes and every square inch were a person isn't already occupying space. Slums are EVERYWHERE. It is strange - I wasn't as shocked at the poverty as I thought I would be (maybe I've been desensitized by Save the Children commercials)...despite the despair that was all around, there was such an incredible amount of SURVIVAL that it was actually rather hopeful. The belief of one GOD might not be saturating Mumbai, but HE is defiantly taking care of those people (in a way that we might not consider care - but it's life).”

“These girls haven't seen or been in contact with their families in years. The only soul on the Earth that they know loves them are the nuns who take care of them. For us to come all the way from the United States for just 3 days to play and love and create with them was such a huge sign of affection - from strangers! I cannot imagine how that made them feel, but I know it made me feel on fire!”

“Some of the girls had been given permission by the nuns to come and help paint the murals which were going on the walls of their bedrooms. Many of these girls had never held a paintbrush in their life. Being creative is not something you take the time for when you're worried about surviving. Art is so therapeutic and can do wonders for rehabilitation from traumatic events. One of my friends on the mural team said that after one of the girls had finished painting a section of the wall (color by number style) she stepped back and gasped while saying, "I cannot believe I DID THIS!". It brings tears to my eyes as I think about it! They were creating something beautiful for the first time in their life. Being told what to do and how to do it for 16 years of ones life and then finally seeing yourself create freely - amazing. God's hand was on EVERYTHING and EVERYONE in that house.”

“Our final act of love was washing the girls’ feet. While our teams were getting the buckets of water ready outside, the nuns reminded the girls of the story in the Bible (only one of the girls in the house was a Christian - the rest were Muslim and Hindu), where the prostitute washed Jesus' feet and then he washed hers as an act of love and respect. Washing their feet was probably one of the most humbling and emotional experiences of my life. I could not believe all that God had in store for us with these girls. While running water over their small, dark feet, I felt like I was washing away all their loneliness, worries, and fear. I wanted to make it all better for them and through that act, I believe that God was moving through me and comforting the hearts of those amazingly tough girls. There was not a dry in sight. Everyone was audibly bawling. It was hard seeing the girls break down emotionally like that - I couldn't help but imagine how many times they must have broken down like that after being raped or after being rescued and so afraid and alone, or any given night when they have no idea what their future holds. Except this time, they were crying not because they were sad or scared, but because they were stunned that complete strangers could show them so much love in just few short days. After we finished washing their feet - they surprised us by asking if they could wash our feet. I am literally crying as I write this - reliving this experience is almost as emotional as going through it.”

Yes, God’s love is GREAT- truly beyond comprehension. And the way God used this team in Mumbai- worked in them and through them- to demonstrate His love to these girls who knew nothing of love for too long is inspiring. Not surprisingly, U2 has lyrics that sum this up nicely. From Window in the Skies:

Oh, can't you see what love has done
To every broken heart
Oh, can't you see what love has done
For every heart that cries
Oh, can't you see what love has done
Love left a window in the skies
Oh, can't you see what love has done
And to love I rhapsodize

In Mumbai, my friends witnessed extraordinary examples of God's Truth and Grace. And they saw an awesome demonstration of what LOVE has done.

Conversation Art

2009-02-22T11:16:00.005-05:00

One of my favorite things is a great, meandering, deep, and energizing conversation. I have countless experiences of being totally exhausted and then starting a conversation with somebody that takes my mind fun and interesting places and lasts 2 hours but in a weird time does not exist vacuum and emerging on the other side totally awake and alert with thriving passion for life. And I know I'm not the only person with such appreciation for great conversations. Movies have been made about them. Most notably is "My Dinner with Andre" because they literally never leave their table, but it completely captures how riveting a conversation can be and how it can take the participants on an unexpected journey.

More recently was "Before Sunrise" and it's sequel "Before Sunset." I remember my first time seeing "Before Sunrise" in the mid 90's. I was captivated. I thought it was brilliant in that it not only captured the natural flow of conversation, but did so while taking the viewer on such a fascinating visual journey...which was always in the background of the riveting conversation. There's no real drama, yet it ends in suspense. Will they meet again 6 months later? Will they get married? Why didn't they exchange phone numbers or addresses? Yet, for me, ALL of that was secondary to the beauty of the conversation itself. The questions, the clarifications, the interruptions that aren't perceived as rude, the randomness, and the revelations.

"Before Sunset" is the sequel that takes place 9 years later. I loved it just as much as "Before Sunrise" because the love of a great conversation was NOT abandoned in an attempt to answer all those questions that were pending. As a matter of fact it does a good job of leaving us wondering because Jesse and Celine are in the midst of getting reacquainted and wondering themselves. They don't talk specifically about their wonderings until the limo ride towards the end, but it's in the ebb and flow of their conversation. It's unspoken yet always there in what they are not saying or how they are interacting and a bit laced with fear of what the other really thinks about that night 9 years earlier. I think anyone who has run into or reconnected with a former romance can relate to that aspect of their conversation. In fact they don't even discuss his wife and child for what I thought was too long, yet I get it. I'm sure I've behaved that way myself...more interested in the reconnection with a friend than with the truth of our current reality.

I recently posted my status on FaceBook as "Emily is thinking sometimes FaceBook seems like an excerpt from The Time Traveller's Wife" because of that phenomenon. Like reconnecting with someone from 10, 20, or in one case 30 years ago (4th grade crush)- transports me to that time and place in a unique way. Sure, I want to know if they are married, have kids, what they are doing for a living...but not as much as I want to linger in the experience of the reconnection and all it conjures in my memory and wondering if their memories are similar. And I love the written conversations that happen in the process- even if they are brief and wall to wall. I think what I love is that it reminds me of the beautiful, meaningful, and meandering conversations I've had with that person in the past. The thing I love about great conversations is the way a friendship blossoms within the conversation. Plus, great conversations are always a masterful blend of Truth and Grace relayed through an ever present moment in a relationship. And then I long for more of those now with current friends or with a player to be named later...maybe a stranger I meet on a train on my way to Vienna.

Lyrics du Jour- All About It

2009-02-08T15:34:00.004-05:00

I became a fan of The Getaway People when I saw them play for free at Miami University almost 10 years ago (say it Stacie & Jerren: Four times for FREE!). They put on such fun show that I purchased two of their CD's on the spot. I love the lyrics of most of their songs, especially "Does My Color Scare You" which addresses racism. But today I share the lyrics of "All About It" in response to a post Donald Miller did on his blog (www.donmilleris.com) about the Mac vs. PC ads and how we allow ourselves to be swayed into thinking something is cool or sexy based on marketing. Reading the almost 90 comments left by his readers made me think of this song.

Can't ride no skateboard to save my life, but it don't bother me no
Cause I got my own thing and I do it in my own time
If me and my crew don't bother you why do you bother with bothering me too
Why be cruel to your own kind?

Cause its all about the hizao, and the grizzle, the hammer and the chizzle
That makes you cool and popular, but who needs popular?

Don't you know I'm about it 'bout it baby?
Don't you know I'm about it 'bout it baby?
Don't you know I'm about it 'bout it baby?
I'm about as 'bout it 'bout it as anyone could ever be

Ain't got no piercings to show for myself, cause my nipples are free
To be what ever they want to be without no pressure - follow the leader
I don't care about your tribal connections which you lied about
Which really came out of a knitting pattern from your mamma's old magazines

Cause its all about being in the right place following the rat race
That makes you cool and popular, but who is popular?

Don't you know I'm about it 'bout it baby?
Don't you know I'm about it 'bout it baby?
Don't you know I'm about it 'bout it baby?
I'm about as 'bout it 'bout it as anyone could ever be

Not only are these lyrics hilarious and fun...but full of Truth and Grace. God created us and loves each of us for who we are...not whether we look cool or use the right brands. These lyrics remind me to rejoice in who I am.

Revolutionary Road

2009-01-28T16:57:00.000-05:00

I’m shocked. Oscar nominations were announced but neither Kate nor Leo got a nod for Revolutionary Road. I’m seriously shocked. Last weekend Cheryl and I made a last minute decision to see a movie and ended up unexpectedly bumping into my writing partner, Don, and his wife, Michelle at Revolutionary Road. I caught myself saying “Wow!” over and over during the many intense and terrifically vulnerable scenes. After, I wanted to savor every moment.

Revolutionary Road is about a couple (Frank & April) who lost hope in their dreams of an extraordinary life in the midst of struggling with their seemingly ordinary life. The disconnection from their life’s purpose caused extreme tension between them. They had vicious fights.

After one huge fight, April finds an old photo of Frank in Paris. She remembers how talking about Paris ignited his passion for life. So she gets an idea to move the family to Paris, she’ll work as a secretary, while Frank spends time connecting with his life’s purpose. That night when she reveals this plan to him is the first time we see their two children. April and Frank connect joyfully with each other like never before, despite the fact that Frank had just had sex with a secretary that day.

The hope of pursuing the extraordinary life they thought was long gone brings life, and life is symbolized by the presence of the children. As long as they are pursuing their dreams the children are in the movie. But as soon as their hope starts to fade…the children are no longer in the movie. They are mentioned but never seen for the rest of the movie.

Just as the children represent life to the full, truth is represented by a crazy person. It had to be a crazy person who spoke the truth. A “sane” person cares too much about logic and feelings. And a person who speaks or acts on truth unapologetically is generally perceived as crazy by whoever is unwilling to see it for what it is. John the Baptist is a classic example. I noticed the tension in the theater during the most intense truth telling scene. The tension was louder than the giggles of my friends and me. Only a couple other people were laughing during that scene, and I suspect they were just as comfortable with truth as we were. The rest were uncomfortably still.

Later, Don told me he wanted to suggest we all go next door to Sitwell’s to discuss. But we all had reasons to go our separate ways, which left us each without words to express.

Freeing the Past

2009-01-15T11:52:00.004-05:00

Freeing the Past

A few months ago I was asked to write an article for the OneCity Newsletter acknowledging House Resolution 194. In honor and celebration of the upcoming Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and the inauguration of the first black President of the United States of America, I share the article below:

On July 29, 2008, U.S. Congress passed House Resolution 194 otherwise titled “Apologizing for the enslavement and racial segregation of African-Americans.” It is the first and only official apology for the sufferings of African-Americans by the government that allowed such atrocities and double-standards to exist in this the “Land of the Free.” OneCity acknowledges and stands in agreement with House Resolution 194, which can be read in its entirety by clicking this link: http://thedailyvoice.com/voice/2008/07/us-house-of-representatives-to-000946.php

As a faith-based organization, OneCity believes that the sacrifice of Jesus Christ is what truly sets us free. Yet, we have not always, as an organization or as individual Christ followers, behaved as if this is true. Furthermore we recognize there have been times when we could have acted with the character of Christ and failed. So we take this opportunity to confess ours sins against our African-American friends. We are deeply sorry for any actions or words which may have been destructive to the African-American community and dignity.

And in the spirit and character of Jesus Christ we also take responsibility for the damage caused by the people of Cincinnati who have judged, belittled, or demeaned any African-American (past or present) in the Greater Cincinnati area. We pray for healing for both the betrayed and the betrayer. As punctuation to our public apology, we pray specifically for healing of issues related to the passage from House Resolution 194 provided below:

“Whereas African-Americans continue to suffer from the consequences of slavery and Jim Crow – long after both systems were formally abolished – through enormous damage and loss, both tangible and intangible, including the loss of human dignity and liberty, the frustration of careers and professional lives, and the long-term loss of income and opportunity.”

We are committed to working within God’s Will to redeem the damage done and to work diligently with our OneCity partners to encourage freedom to ring throughout our city.

While experiencing the contagious euphoria when Barack Obama was announced as the winner on election night, I thought, “THIS is exactly what this country needs!” There is still a great need for racial healing and forgiveness here in America and worldwide. And I realize that, on Monday, most people won’t give a thought to how the Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. embraced God’s perfect truth and grace or how it inspired him to fight for civil rights. But when I wrote the article above and saw the tears of joy on all the faces in Grant Park during Obama’s acceptance speech, I felt full of hope.

Good Grief

2009-01-04T13:52:00.004-05:00

This post has been brewing for quite a while. I almost did my tribute to my dad in October around this theme. And I'm not quite sure where my ramblings will take us today. I just sense deeply I need to write on this. Since my first inspiration on this theme in October, my dear friend Stacie lost her brother-in-law suddenly (see post titled Walk On)to an aneurysm in November. Then in December my church community experienced a tragic loss during a Christmas performance.

What I've learned throughout all of these losses is that the grief process is good. I always thought it was an odd expression when Charlie Brown said "Good Grief." But now I see that he knew what he was saying. And grief manifests in different ways for all of us. In the Bible it talks of people ripping their clothes and wailing. When my dad passed grief took the form of feeling a lack of job security or stability. I remember thinking with certainty I would be fired when I returned from my bereavement leave. I later confessed that fear to my boss and she laughed at me. It was nowhere near the truth, my bosses love me and for some reason think I do a great job.

Again, one of the things I love about my church community is that they fully embrace and encourage the grief process and whatever form that takes from day to day. At the prayer service the day after a performer fell to her death in front of an audience of at least 2k, our senior pastor grieved publicly with anger and tears. It was authentic and moving to witness. And this weekend he delivered a powerful message where he acknowledged that part of his grief process and prayed a public prayer to God to apologize for accusing Him of not being there to save the woman who died. He made an excellent point about letting God be God and that means taking people in His timing according to His Will. I'm not doing it justice, but as of Jan 8th you will be able to watch the video of the service at www.crossroads.net.

And another aspect of grief I've been pondering lately is grieving loneliness. And I'm not talking about the Eleanor Rigby level of loneliness. As I mentioned in my post titled "Making Room," no matter a person's level of busy-ness, in most cases if the person doesn't have a spouse to share life with, they experience loneliness. I think there is a reason God said it was not good for Adam to be alone and why He created Eve to be Adam's mate. The intimacy of a marriage is the next best thing to our intimacy with God.

I had the day after Christmas off and found myself watching things I don't usually get to watch, like The View. Whoopie Goldberg said something I think is true. She said something to the effect of people feel lonely when they feel uncomfortable. True for me. There are days that I feel totally comfortable alone in my apartment and I don't feel lonely. But if I've been out socializing and enjoying fellowship with friends and I go home to an empty apartment, I feel lonely. I notice that when I'm feeling lonely I sleep better on the couch. Like the back of the couch is a surrogate for the warm body of a spouse or something. On that same episode of The View, Nicole Kidman was a guest and she talked about how lonely she felt when she went home alone after winning her Oscar. I thought that was profound proof of my point. Obviously she has many many friends and had just been affirmed in her craft with the highest honor of an Oscar. So feeling loved and appreciated were not what she was missing. She was missing having somebody to share that joy with on an intimate level.

Whether they talk about it openly or not, I think anyone over the age of 30 who is single grieves their loneliness. And if they don't let themselves grieve their loneliness and don't experience Good Grief, then they just get bitter. Come to think of it, the same happens regarding grieving the death of a loved one. In God's infinite wisdom and perfect balance of Truth and Grace, He shows us several examples in the Bible of GOOD GRIEF!

Worth Repeating

2008-12-29T19:27:00.003-05:00

This post was originally published on December 30, 2007 after I watched "The Sound of Music" last year. It was the first time I had watched it all the way through since I was a child and I had a totally new experience of it as an adult. While watching it again last night, I kept thinking of this post and how much it still resonates with me. So here it is again:

I know that at least one of the major television networks shows "The Sound of Music" every year around the holidays. For me it must be one of those things that is such a holiday staple I haven't really watched it all the way through or paid any attention to it since I was a child. And even at that, I admit that my memories of it are inextricably linked with the family I grew up across the street from. They were a naturally talented family. The three children loved "The Sound of Music" so much I remember they performed the "So Long, Farewell" song (with the choreography) at a neighborhood party which required each of them to play the part of at least 2 of the von Trapp children. I must have been impressed...my memory is so vivid!

At any rate, I'm fairly sure I have not allowed myself to enjoy this classic movie completely in my adulthood. And that is a shame. I'm sure that I never fully appreciated the love between Maria and Captain von Trapp as a child. Or Maria's struggle between her faith and devotion to God and her unexpected love with the Captain. Not to mention the sensitive issue of political and patriotic loyalty as Hitler was brainwashing his followers...I mean the music is pretty but what 8 year old can fully grasp THAT! Or, for that matter, the beautiful truth that the Reverend Mother shares with Maria about climbing every mountain, etc. I, as a full grown woman who strives to live a God honoring life (while finding and living my dream), and who also longs to be a God honoring wife, find myself especially moved by their love, discovery of their love, and declaration of their love. And watching (as an adult) Maria and the Captain sing these lyrics:

"Perhaps I had a wicked childhood
Perhaps I had a miserable youth
But somewhere in my wicked, miserable past
There must have been a moment of truth

For here you are, standing there, loving me
Whether or not you should
So somewhere in my youth or childhood
I must have done something good"

Well, hearing those lyrics as an adult struck something primal in me and brought me to tears. I think that it struck a primal fear of feeling worthy. And as a Christ follower, it simultaneously reminded me of how truly amazing God's grace is. For here He is, standing here, loving me, whether or not He should. And it's NOT because somewhere in my youth or childhood (or adulthood), I ever did anything good. With faith in the truth and grace that Jesus Christ fulfills, I am worthy of His love - regardless.

On the 12th day of Christmas

2008-12-25T23:07:00.005-05:00

On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me- TWELVE awesome concerts prior to 1996. I have some friends who tease me about how blessed I am with great concert experiences by exclaiming "FOUR TIMES FOR FREE" every time I start a sentence with "I saw them..." See my day 11 post for more info! Here are my twelve favorite shows prior to 1996 in no particular order:

1. The Police, Ghost in the Machine Tour, April 1982- need I say more?
2. R.E.M., Pre-Construction Tour, Wittenberg University, May 7, 1985- show was in small gymnasium, paid $5 for tix, long-haired Stipe performed with back to the crowd, I've seen them 6 times since that show- but that will always be my favorite.
3. U2, Joshua Tree Tour, TWICE, Detroit-April 1987, Lexington, KY later in '87
4. Nine Inch Nails, Pretty Hate Machine Tour, TWICE, Bogarts
5. Sarah McLachlan, Fumbling Towards Ecstasy Tour, July 1994, Count Basie Theater, Red Bank, NJ- saw her 3 more times after that but she was never better than that night, including when I sat in front of her parents at the Beacon in NYC (for free)
6. Red Hot Chili Peppers w/Faith No More (original line-up)@ Bogarts. This show is notable because I spent more time talking to guys in Faith No More (got their autographs for Sandy) than paying attention to Chili Pepper's set until I noticed there were probably more uniformed cops on the floor than fans. Why? It was the tour where the Pepper's played with nothing but socks on their cocks.
7. Tori Amos @ State Theater in New Brunswick. Not only was Tori amazing, but this show is memorable because as we left the show a friend told us that O.J. was on the run (after killing his wife). We walked into our favorite bar and it was packed but EVERYONE was glued to the chase on T.V. -Very surreal!
8. Oingo Boingo @ Bogarts, Fall of '88 w/longtime friend P.J.- so much fun!
9. They Might Be Giants @ Bogarts, don't remember what year, John & John were great!
10. PIL twice @ Bogarts. I think both shows were on Thanksgiving, 2 consecutive years, 1985 & 1986?, John Lydon is a hoot on stage!
11. Seal @ Beacon Theater in NYC. Seal at his best in mid-90's. Great show!
12. INXS, at least 3 times and they were the opening act every time! First time they opened for Adam & the Ants, and another time they opened for Men at Work, can't remember the other time(s).

Deciding which shows were my favorites was tough. I should mention the very first concert I ever attended was in 1980 with my two older sisters. It was The Commodores & Kurtis Blow opened. Stop laughing. The Commodores were all the rage in the early 80's! Other honorable mentions: Depeche Mode, The Cure, Erasure, Robyn Hitchcock, Guadal Canal Diary, The Cult opening for Metallica, The Kinks... I gotta stop now.

On the 11th day of Christmas

2008-12-25T21:37:00.012-05:00

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me- ELEVEN awesome concerts from 1996 - present. Since I'm doing day 11 & 12 in one sitting, it's probably obvious by now that day 12 is about the 12 awesome concerts prior to 1996. Also, the fact that I am devoting both days 11 & 12 to my favorite concerts should be a clue how much I love music, especially live music. I don't think it's a stretch to say I have seen over 100 concert productions, and that's not counting how many evenings I've spent in bars & coffee houses enjoying local musicians. I love the energy in the air during a live performance. So here are some of my favorites since 1996 in no particular order:

1. Over the Rhine, most recently at the church across from my apartment 4 days ago.
2. Josh Ritter opening for Jamie Cullum in Indianapolis, October 2006.
3. Morrissey on Valentine's Day in Akron, OH in 2000- How hilarious is that? It's my all time favorite Valentine's Day...so far this beats any typical VDay with a man!
4. Sting, Broken Music Tour, April 2005- he did mostly early Police stuff and very little of his solo stuff. Such a great show!
5. Lyle Lovett w/KD Lang opening, July 2007-Cheryl's b-day, great show!
6. 80's Regeneration Tour, August 2008, longtime friend Brian and I had so much FUN!
7. Live w/Luscious Jackson, summer 1997- 'Nette, Urs, & I had back stage passes-Great day, Cool show.
8. BoDeans, most recently- April 2008 @ 20th Century- Nothin' beats BoDeans live!
9. Ingrid Michaelson, Jan 2008 @ 20th Century w/Chelle- very fun show
10. John Hiatt, etc.- Tall Stacks, October 2006-several great acts played Tall Stacks
11. The Connells, most recently in 1997, Bogarts, got in free unexpectedly

By now my rock star lifestyle has probably impressed you to pieces. Don't get me started! ;-) To paraphrase Bono, it's not decadent if you notice and are grateful. For sure, I have a keen awareness and appreciation for my live concert blessings!

On the 10th day of Christmas

2008-12-22T21:02:00.003-05:00

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me- prayers answered ten-fold. I'll spare you the listing of ten answered prayers by making it a random number of prayers answered ten-fold. One involves my trip to Portland (see day 8). One involves an unlikely friendship that probably only exists because we each choose to do ALL things through Christ. And most recently learning that a guy I've known for three years is the writing partner I've been praying for to help me manifest an overwhelming vision. This answered prayer is still in the process of blowing my mind. So, I'll keep my gratitude brief here...God knows I can't thank Him enough for this one. Suffice it to say I prayed a seemingly simple prayer for a writing partner for several years and waited patiently for the Lord. Once again, God's vision is way bigger than my vision.

On the 9th day of Christmas

2008-12-22T20:43:00.003-05:00

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me- a nine year old car I love. Well, I bought my car used in 2006, and she is a year 2000 model. So she is nine years old, but I've only had her for about three. Her name is Beatrice. She's lime green. She's a five-speed turbo(I love leaving trucks in my dust). She's a Volkswagen Beetle. She has heated leather seats. A six CD changer in her boot. Her nickname is MC Bea Bug. She gets compliments from complete strangers in parking lots. I love my little green turbo bug!

On the 8th day of Christmas

2008-12-22T19:41:00.004-05:00

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me- eight great vacations. I'm making this up as I go along, but I'm sure I can come up with eight. Starting with my most recent week long vacation in Portland, Oregon last July. Portland is a great city, I had a great time, and I had a specific sweet encounter that only God could have orchestrated. Sometimes God is so kind for no other reason than to show us how much he loves us.

In September 2007 I went on a road trip to the NYC area to visit several friends I had not seen in at least six years. I used to live in the NYC area, spent a lot of time in the city, and met some fabulous friends while there. They are kinda like family. I happen to love long drives and road trips to begin with. One of my life long dream vacations is to take 2-3 months to drive across the country. And when I go back to NY I like to drive so that I can get myself around to see all my friends (who are now a little spread out in different parts of NJ, CT, and Long Island) in the comfort of my own car with my own music. Anyway, it was a wonderful, fun, relaxing week with no particular agenda but to spend at least one night with a few different friends. Oh, and to see Spring Awakening which I did with Barri.

In April 2006 I went on a service trip to Mamelodi, South Africa. I met some of my current dearest friends on that trip. Including my host family, the Phatlanes. Kgakgamatso just got married in November and I was thrilled that he called me himself last June to invite me. I planned to be there for his wedding until my car broke down twice and my laptop crashed which depleted my funds set aside for my trip to SA. Apart from all that relationship stuff, it was a great lesson in what it means to truly live as if the joy of the Lord is my strength.

Okay, to keep this post from becoming a novel, the other five great vacays will be lumped together in this paragraph in random order. There was a family trip to New Orleans in the mid 90's which was meaningful since we lived in New Orleans for the first 5 years of my life. We drove by the old house, had dinner with old friends, and also did the tourist stuff in the French Quarter, Breakfast at Brennan's, Commander's Palace, Jazz clubs, etc. My parents had a nice time share in Hilton Head for a few years and those trips were always good. We'll count 3 of those. Which means I just need to come up with one more...hmmm...Grand Canyon or Panama? Or San Diego (extended business trip) or .... wait, maybe I should eliminate at least one of those trips to Hilton Head from the list. Did I say I could come up with just 8? The truth is, I'm pretty much content wherever I go.

On the 7th Day of Christmas

2008-12-22T19:04:00.002-05:00

Sorry, I was distracted for a few days by a tragic event, prayer services, holiday parties, and hang time with friends. I'm back in the saddle again! On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me, SEVEN years of Bill's updates. Bill Yeaton is a locum tenens physician I met through a previous job. Why am I so excited to get his annual updates? Not only is he an extremely nice man, Bill also happens to be an excellent photographer and his yearly newsletters are full of interesting details and photos from his travels. I long to travel as much as he does and I live vicariously through his annual updates. To see some of Bill's photography visit his website:

www.billyeaton.com

Be prepared to drool! Not all of his website photos have captions, but the ones where he explains what led him to take the photo, etc. are fascinating. Enjoy!

On the 6th Day of Christmas

2008-12-17T21:11:00.002-05:00

Hooray! We are halfway through this gimmick! I think it's working, by the way. For whatever that's worth. Okay, so on the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me- SIX nifty nephews. I mean that sincerely. All six of them are great. The oldest one is 21 and the youngest one is 10 (I think). Gee, I feel like a horrible aunt for not being more sure of their ages. Anyway, the two oldest (Clif & Spencer) are my brother's kids. The three in the middle (Isaiah, Gabe, & Eli) are from my second oldest sister. And the youngest (Joseph) is from my oldest sister. Yes, totally out of order isn't it? Well, any way you slice it, they are all very good boys. And I am extremely proud to be their Auntie Em.

On the 5th Day of Christmas

2008-12-16T22:40:00.002-05:00

This is hard. On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me- FIVE golden friends. Well, I have lots of golden friends. But five who come to mind as extra special for some reason. One of them was featured on the front page of the Cincinnati Enquirer today. She's 2 days older than me, has the same name and we've been friends since we were five. We hardly see each other anymore even though we live just 3 miles from each other. And when we do, we just talk like we saw each other yesterday. We don't bother filling in the details of our lives and things we did since we last met. That would seem almost redundant with our friendship and our history.

The other four make it to my list of five for similar reasons. Although they all have been friends for different lengths of time. My college roommate is one. I just went to see her in November. And we really don't spend much time discussing the missing details. We just hang out like always. We've been friends for over 20 years through many ups and downs. Then there's my buddy from a leadership program I did in the mid 90's. We've been friends for about 15 years, have very little in common but we love each other and again, can just pick up and talk like no time has passed at any given moment. Then there's my friend who has literally helped me through the biggest transition in my adult life, is one of my biggest fans, and treats me like family. She and I have been friends for about 7 or 8 years now. And I have a friend who I've only known a year who totally gets me on every level and I already feel like she's a part of my family and I'm a part of hers.

The best part of these 5 specific golden friends is that they are a small sample and example of my many other friends. These 5 are consistent, either due to length of the friendship or depth of bond. But I am blessed to have dozens more friends who are very dear and special to me on many and varying levels. I love how God uses friendships to demonstrate His deeply profound truth, grace, and love.

On the 4th Day of Christmas

2008-12-15T17:27:00.003-05:00

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me- FOUR great bosses. Well, there's four that I answer to on a daily basis, then a couple more here and there. My favorite thing about my bosses is that they all appreciate my sense of humor. Having worked in environments where my humor was less than welcome, this aspect makes work so much more enjoyable! In fact Deb instigates much of the hilarity by making prank phone calls, silly emails, door rattling shanannigans, etc. And Eric has just gotten used to me laughing hysterically at his odd requests. Like the day he called and asked me to order a compass for him. I assumed he meant a directional compass and I accused him of starting a Boy Scout troop in his office (he is an Eagle Scout). Then he explained he had been using a CD to draw his circles. In the meantime, we were both laughing so hard we could hardly complete the phone call. And Joe posted the hilarious homemade Pinky & The Brain birthday card I made for him to everyone's delight. His birthday was in August and it's still hanging in the lab.

Ralph melts my heart on most days. There are only a few days of every month I feel otherwise and on those days I have a posse of peeps supporting me in that he's being unreasonable. In fact, he just stopped by my office to tell me there's an ice storm coming and I should go home now. How sweet is that?

On the 3rd day of Christmas

2008-12-14T10:07:00.002-05:00

Welcome to day 3 of this gimmick! On the third day of Christmas, my true love (yes, still God) gave to me, three super siblings. Really. We have very different approaches to life and often don't really understand each other. And there is no doubt that we all love each other, flaws and all. We always enjoy spending time together which usually includes hearty laughter over something totally silly...past or present.

As a child, they were as much care givers as siblings. I'm the youngest. They are all several years older. My oldest sister,Beth, is exactly 10 years and 23 days older than me. Then there is Sue who is 8 years older. And my brother, Ned, is 7 years older. We did not have the typical sibling scuffles. We had scuffles, but due to some specific family dysfunctions, they weren't typical. Our family loyalty and love has always prevailed. For that, we know we are blessed beyond measure.

On the 2nd Day of Christmas

2008-12-13T13:14:00.002-05:00

Yes, forging ahead with this cheesy gimmick. On the second day of Christmas my true love (uh...that would be God, right?) gave to me, TWO cuddly kittens! Well, actually they are full grown cats and I've had them for 14 years. And I'm allergic to them. But they are the sweetest reflection of God's love in my life.

Unfortunately, the photo I planned to post of them didn't make the transfer to my new laptop. The gray one's name is Cica (pronounced Tsitsa) which is Hungarian for kitten. The white one has David Bowie eyes (one is hazel and one is ice blue) and her name is Chim Fi (pronounced Chim Fee) which is Chinese for spot. When she was tiny she had a spot on her forehead that looked like Gorbachev's birthmark- the spot disappeared within 6 months I think.

Why such unusual names? That's just the kind of gal I am! I got both of them at the same time (they are from the same mother but 2 different litters) and wanted to name them something different. I was bartending at a steakhouse in New Jersey at the time. One of the servers suggested I name them something common, but in another language. It so happened that my fellow bartender was Hungarian and the entire kitchen crew was Chinese. So after asking for several translations to common pet names, Cica and Chim Fi stuck. Don't worry, not many people remember their real names. One friend always referred to them as Dim Sum and Chick Pea.

They greet me at the door, they cuddle with me and purr sweet nothings in my ear, Cica makes an excellent kitty-alarm-clock (I'm convinced she can tell time), and I'm sure they have expressions of concern on their fur covered faces when I'm sad. Oh yeah, they know all my deepest, darkest, secrets and love me for who I am. Just like God does!

On the 1st day of Christmas

2008-12-12T16:47:00.006-05:00

Sorry. I'm not a fan of the song Twelve Days of Christmas. I'm using this gimmick to motivate me to post something every day for the next...well...twelve days, as the song goes. But maybe it will create a new habit for me in the meantime and I'll start posting more than once or twice a month.

So, without further ado, on the first day of Christmas, Crossroads gave to me- 1 hour of laughter. We have many talented creatives in our community and Neil Smith is one of the best. He created this for our current series "We Wish You a Messy Christmas" - Enjoy!

As our senior pastor says, "I don't care who you are, THAT'S FUNNY!"

(If you are unable to view embedded video, here's the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yd-dN-6GcNc )

Walk On

2008-12-08T17:33:00.002-05:00

This is for Stacie, her sister, family and anyone grieving the loss of Sam Dillard. Stacie wrote a very articulate blog post about some deeply profound feelings. Well, the blog post is actually an excerpt from her journal. What she shared on her blog made me think of the lyrics from “Walk On” so I will attempt to tie them together here. I will not share all of what Stacie wrote, but you can visit her blog yourself for the rest: faithandart.blogspot.com, the link is over on the left.

Stacie said:
I'm conflicted because one moment I seem to "get" that this life is temporary. I mean, I don't just acknowledge it but really fully feel it. This world and this life is only a very bad copy of what we're created to be and of the reality that God exists in.

I sense it so strongly sometimes that I almost feel like I could go out and kick the car in the driveway and it would crumble up like tissue paper. And if I blew into the air the clouds would part and the sky would ripple like a curtain - that's how strong a sense of falseness I have at times about this life. But then I stick out my foot and rest it on the coffee table. And realize how hard and solid it is. And the sense of hope I had from my (very) brief moment of understanding is gone.

As an artist I feel like sometimes I'm trying to communicate something I've actually never experienced. To create something with a beauty I've never actually seen but that I'm so sure of that it's painful and makes my chest hurt to think about it. I have no doubt that that beauty does exist, even though its full view is hidden from us.

I think what some people consider "the muse" is really just an unconscious act of "getting it." But they suffer less emotionally if they don't realize it's a real thing they're inspired by. It's easier to call it the muse; it doesn't make you so homesick (homesick for a place you've never been!)

Sam's death has made me homesick that way. Not like my sister would feel, wanting to be with him again. Mine is due more to having to continue to admit I still believe God is good. Which means that Sam is in that place now - the place that is just out of my reach when I think I have it, or that surprises me when flashes of it show through just the right combination of color and transparency. Or a photograph. or a song that makes me almost cry - not because it's sad but because they lyrics or melody remind me of that place where I belong but have still never seen.

Well said, my dear friend. And here’s why the U2 song “Walk On” was the soundtrack in my head while reading Stacie’s blog:

And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong

Walk on, walk on
What you got, they can't steal it
No they can't even feel it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight...

You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been
A place that has to be believed to be seen
You could have flown away
A singing bird in an open cage
Who will only fly, only fly for freedom

And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on

Home...hard to know what it is if you never had one
Home...I can't say where it is but I know I'm going home
That's where the heart is

So, for Stacie and her family who loved Sam and knew intimately the ways he demonstrated God’s truth and grace daily- walk on. God is faithful and Christ is our redeemer in ways we can’t even imagine.

Making Room

2008-12-07T16:52:00.004-05:00

Lately I've been noticing how busy everyone seems to be. My friends who are married with children stay busy taking care of their family. And my single friends seem to stay even more busy. In talking to some of my single friends we have confided in each other that when all the busy-ness is done, at the end of the day, there is a little loneliness lingering. I am always busy. And I like it that way, mostly. Every once in a while I think I should stop being so busy and then there would be more time for things I say I want or think I need. Inevitably, when I make an effort to be less busy, it lasts for maybe a month. After about a month, I start to think I should get more involved in something. If I'm not busy I notice I spend too much time doing things I don't really care that much about.

Being the single witty, wise, sexy redhead that I am, some friends wonder why I'm not dating anyone. The answer I usually give is that nobody has asked me out. One of my guy friends (who is married) said I've probably had guys who wanted to ask me out, but since I wasn't interested or attracted to that unspecified guy, I didn't notice and therefore no opportunity was created for an actual date. I sometimes wonder if it is because I'm too busy. But I know that's not it. Because we can always make room for love. Ask anyone who has made room for Jesus in their heart. They will probably tell of how their time commitments have changed as a result.

For further example of my point, I will share a quote from Brian Andreas titled "Making Room." I first became a fan of Brian Andreas when I stumbled upon his stuff in an funky artsy fartsy store in Philadelphia in the early 90's. Being a writer, the first print of his I purchased included a quote about stories. For several years after that my mom gave me either a Brian Andreas print or book for every Christmas and Birthday. So, I have a nice little collection. Anyway, this quote is how I suspect things will happen when my future husband and I meet:

"When I first met her I knew in a moment I would have to spend the next few days re-arranging my mind so there'd be room for her to stay."

I guess my prayer is that my future husband and I are not so busy when we meet that we think we can or should re-schedule that time to make room for each other to stay.

The Power of Forgiveness

2008-12-04T10:53:00.002-05:00

My writing partner is a bigger film geek than I am. He often brings my attention to films I would not have heard of otherwise. "The Power of Forgiveness" is out on DVD, but I have not seen it as of this writing. For more information visit www.thepowerofforgiveness.com - In the meantime, here is an interview with the filmmaker:

An Interview with the Filmmaker
Writer and Director of BONHOEFFER
Q. How did you come to make this film?
A. Well, this film really had its origins a few years ago. Dan Juday and I went down to a conference in Atlanta, Georgia, where researchers, mostly scientists, were presenting the results of the research they were doing in the world of forgiveness. You had psychologists, you had health care physicians, and what you really saw for the first time was the confluence of two worlds coming together around the topic of forgiveness. You have the tradition of the faith communities - all the great faiths talk about the value of forgiveness; they have for centuries - but now you had the scientists and the healthcare world talking about the virtue of forgiveness.

We had about a hundred story ideas that we were looking at to come up with the stories for the film. We wanted to make sure that we had stories that spoke both to the faith tradition and to the new work that was being done in science. We also wanted to do one other thing, which was to say that forgiveness works really on a couple of different dimensions. It's about one person being hurt and forgiving one other person. But sometimes too the idea forgiveness works for groups, communities, and nations. And it was a balance of that personal and collective sense of forgiveness that I thought would make for an interesting film.

Q. What was the most memorable part of the process?
A. Forgiveness is really one of the hardest things we’re asked to do, in terms of our relationships with other people. The word itself opens up the deepest chambers in our heart and soul. One of the aspects of forgiveness that I had not really thought about until I started doing the film was the aspect of self forgiveness. Even the best people have a hard time getting to forgiveness, being able to forgive themselves for what they’ve done or what they’ve failed to do. As we began to see the stories unfold, this aspect of self forgiveness seemed as though it was playing a role in each one of the stories again and again. For me it's become one of the most critical learning moments in the making of the film.

Q. What's the relationship between forgiving and forgetting?
A. Somewhere along the line the words forgive and forget got joined at the hip, and I'm not sure why. People would say to us, “I can't forget what happened, so how can I even begin to forgive?” But what we're hearing from people was not about forgetting what happened. It was about how you remember, and what you do with that memory, how you incorporate the memory of that pain and suffering and how you get over that pain, how it affects your relationships going forward. In some ways it is redeeming to feel as though you aren’t being asked to forget what happened, only to come to a new awareness of how you're going to carry forward a memory that you can't get rid of anyway most important lessons in making the film.

Q. What's the relationship between forgiveness and justice?
A. I think in the 21st century we're living in a justice-focused culture. Justice is about righting the past. But that's always done by human beings who are as imperfect as we are. So you don't always get the justice that you hope for. Sometimes you don’t get justice at all. You don't have control over it. But you do have some control over how you want to see your relationships unfolding, and that's where forgiveness can really play a big role. You have control over what you want to forgive someone for, outside of the justice program. Justice, in terms of forgiveness, is not about opening up the prisons and letting the prisoners go. You have an obligation to protect yourself and to protect your loved ones. People do terrible things, evil things. But how do you exact that justice? Is it done in a spirit of anger and revenge, or is it done with some level of balance and compassion? Sometimes getting to the world that we want to get to means not exacting a pound of flesh. Sometimes compassion and mercy actually can get us to the place we all want to get to.

Having just celebrated Thanksgiving, I am also reminded of the power of gratitude. Here is one of my favorite quotes about gratitude:

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough and more…It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
~Melodie Beattie

Here's to exploring the depths of God's truth and grace through practicing gratitude and forgiveness.

In Communion

2008-10-26T12:44:00.003-04:00

My thoughts about communion and being in communion with our triune God are steeped in intimacy(into-me-see). Intimacy with friends, intimacy with brothers & sisters in Christ, and intimacy with God. I cherish the gift of intimacy. I am blessed beyond measure to have intimacy with God. When most people think of communion, they think of eating a wafer and sipping grape juice. Or maybe they think of dipping a morsel of bread into a goblet of wine. But not many people naturally embrace the idea of communion looking like sharing a pizza with a friend. And that is my favorite way to celebrate communion. Sharing a meal, any meal, with my brothers and sisters in Christ and having a conversation filled with love and joy while thanking God for Christ's sacrifice. To further illustrate, here's a poem my friend Betsy wrote about communion:

Communion, not just about Christ's death
but every aspect:
incarnation and humble things
humanness and hunger
all the meals
all the miracles
all the talking

the 'last' supper
and the one after that

the breakfast on the beach
the feast that's waiting in heaven
(think of the guest list!)

not to mention the things before
(the old covenant
the first world
before the flood
before the fall)

all
there.

Think about that the next time you say "no thanks, I'll just eat at my desk."
Think about that the next time you say "oh, no, drive-through's fine."

whenever you eat this
whenever you drink this
whenever you do this
its me.

Betsy posted that on her blog several months ago and I think it is beautiful. It proclaims the deep reverence we should all have for the gift of communion.

Regarding the intimacy I feel with God, I express this through a playlist. Music can submerge me completely into pure praise for our amazing creator, provision, and daily redeemer. When I arranged this playlist I selected each song carefully. Most of the songs would not normally be considered "worship songs" but for me they are. When I let these lyrics saturate my being, I imagine them as conversations with God. I imagine (depending on the lyrics) that either I am singing these words to God or that God is singing these words to me. It would take too much space to share all the lyrics. So I am only sharing the playlist below and encourage you to listen to these songs in the order below at your own leisure. Imagine being in communion with God with every lyric in this playlist:

All I Want is You – U2

Spirit – The Waterboys

Picture of Jesus – Ben Harper

The Story – Brandi Carlisle

Have a Little Faith in Me- John Hiatt

I Found Love- Lone Justice

Everywhere I Go- The Call

You’re My Best Friend – Queen

Give it Up – Hothouse Flowers

Trumpets – The Waterboys

Gloria – U2

Golden – Jill Scott

Unspeakable Joy – Kim English

The Whole of the Moon – The Waterboys

These songs are examples of the way I pray. I pray with a heart seeking God's perfect truth and grace in everything

The Diving Bell & The Butterfly

2008-10-15T10:05:00.004-04:00

This post is a tribute to my father who passed away this time last year. While watching the Diving Bell & the Butterfly recently, I cried the hardest I have cried over the loss of my father since the day he passed. I do love a good cathartic cry and this movie was just what I needed to help my grieving process.

Here I will quote the bare bones description of the movie I found on Wikipedia:

"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly is a 2007 film based on the memoir of the same name by Jean-Dominique Bauby. The film depicts Bauby's life after suffering a massive stroke at the age of 43,^[1] which left him with a condition known as locked-in syndrome. The condition paralyzed him, with the exception of his left eyelid, so that he could only communicate by blinking. The film was directed by Julian Schnabel, written by Ronald Harwood and stars Mathieu Amalric as Bauby. It won awards at the Cannes Film Festival, the Golden Globes and the BAFTA Awards, as well as four Academy Award nominations."

Here I will attempt to describe how it facilitated a great cry of grief over missing my Dad:

I can't. Really. There are a few specific scenes that prompted the tears, but to describe those scenes out of context of the entire beautiful movie is probably futile. If you have experienced the movie already you will remember these scenes. The scene where Bauby is having a flashback of his last visit with his aging and ailing father. He's remembering shaving his father and the banter they had during the shave. And at one point his father (played by Max von Sydow) looks up at him a little bewildered and says he can't remember what he was going to say. Then says, "Oh yes, I'm proud of you." Well, as soon as the shaving scene started I was a puddle. My dad was a brilliant man. But in his final few years he slipped further and further into dementia. He started having seizures and mini-strokes so we had to take care of him. Before we moved him to the nursing home permanently, I would shave him. I also bathed him and changed his diaper. It was heartbreaking to see him deteriorate. He had been my source of stability for most of my life. But even as his mind slipped away, he would remember his family and tell us he loved us.

My dad was a great man. He spent his life in service to his community. He was extremely Christ-like in that I never heard a word of judgment escape his lips. Never. His community service is without a doubt what inspires my servant's heart. Even in the years I was not a Christ follower, I found a way to serve and contribute to my community in positive ways. And I know that he was proud of my serving efforts.

In The Diving Bell & The Butterfly, Bauby at first does not want his children to see him in his paralyzed state. Eventually he decides that being a partial father to his children is better than them not having a father at all. And there is a scene where his children come to spend Father's Day with him. Much of the movie is shot from Bauby's point of view, from his limited view through his left eye. At the end of the Father's Day scene, his children sing a song for him and then the viewer sees (from Bauby's paralyzed view) the children kiss him good-bye. Again, I was a puddle. I imagined what it was like in Dad's final days to feel helpless as his family came to visit in the nursing home and as we kissed him good-bye.

It would have been easy for my dad to give up and sink to the bottom of the ocean in his own private diving bell. But when interviewed by social workers, he never even hinted at self-pity. In fact, he said he knew his strength came from God and he therefore felt blessed. Towards the end of his life, he would ramble about whatever fantasy he was entertaining that day. After seeing this movie, I now know that was his way of remaining a butterfly.

2001: A Space Odyssey

2008-10-12T15:52:00.005-04:00

One of the many things I love about my church community are the wide range of smaller community groups to choose from. With over 8K regular attendees, it helps to have small groups to get to know others around here. And after almost 7 years, I am blessed with LOTS of friends I met through either serving roles or small groups. One of my favorites was just launched last year and it is called Reel to Real. Twice a month the guys who created this group pull out the carnival-style popcorn machine and choose a flick to view and discuss. I love this group! I only made it to a few last year, but I immensely enjoyed all of them. The facilitators, Don and Andy, do a great job of creating talking points and always list a few bible verses that correspond on some level.

We kicked off this season recently with a viewing of 2001: A Space Odyssey. This is one of those films that, unless you have lived as a media deprived hermit your whole life, everyone knows something about...even if it is just the famous musical score. I had seen bits and pieces before and had heard all sorts of references to it, but had never watched the whole thing start to finish. WOW! How truly visionary to have put this together for release in 1968! The foresight into how the space program would evolve when we hadn't even landed on the moon yet- genius. The foresight into how dependent society would become on computers-awesomely prophetic. The movie as a whole- clearly drug induced! And the discussion after viewing- priceless. Many jokes were made about what drug inspired the end of the movie. And many jokes were made about who in the group may have been stoned the first time they saw it, if they had seen it in the theaters in 1968.

Seriously, great observations were made by several people. Some had read the book series and had extra insights to certain scenes, some weren't sure they even liked the movie but had great comments anyway, and we made thought provoking connections about humanity and God along the way. There was a lot of laughter. Especially when I had the audacity to suggest the chimps at the beginning of the movie could actually hear the singing associated with the big black monolith. The group looked at me so strangely upon this suggestion that I questioned whether I was the only one who could hear the singing at all! Very funny stuff...but maybe you had to be there. In fact, if you live in Cincinnati, you should join us sometime!

Zipporah

2008-09-27T12:37:00.002-04:00

I'm feeling like a slacker for my lack o' posts lately. Rather than leave my large fan base (hello to all 3 of you) hungry for more while I craft a more recently inspired post, I am copying an email I sent to the aforementioned 3 fans way back on June 26th. Sorry to the 3 of you who have already read this stuff. I thought I'd open up this discussion to any hapless internet surfers who float this way. ;-) Also, apologies to those of you not familiar with the Old Testament of the Bible...this is written from the assumption that the reader already knows the whole story of Moses, etc.

Exodus Chapter 4

24-26 On the journey back, as they camped for the night, God met Moses and would have killed him but Zipporah took a flint knife and cut off her son's foreskin, and touched Moses' member with it. She said, "Oh! You're a bridegroom of blood to me!" Then God let him go. She used the phrase "bridegroom of blood" because of the circumcision. -The Message

I don't remember ever hearing about this verse in a sermon or bible study. I'm sure I've read over it before, but this morning it grabbed my attention. To put this verse in context read the rest of Exodus Chapter 4 (it's a short one). Basically, the short paragraph above comes right after God has revealed his entire vision to Moses for HOW Moses will free the Israelites from slavery in Egypt. Moses has already protested fiercely why he was not qualified to lead the slaves out of Egypt. God had already reassured Moses in every way that there was nothing to worry about...God would be with him and in control of EVERYTHING, including Pharoah's stubborn streak. And the very next paragraph, is THAT one. THAT paragraph that mentions (oh so casually) that God was about to KILL Moses! After God had JUST finished reassuring Moses that He knew what he was doing and Moses was indeed the ONE to free the slaves, etc. The paragraph does not explain WHY God was about to kill Moses. The paragraph does not reveal any lack of faith on Moses' part at this point...they had already worked through all that in the preceding verses. In fact, it is said so matter of factly and briefly that it seems clear that God attempting to kill Moses is NOT the point.

So, what IS the point? The faith and loyalty of Zipporah. I think this was God's way of testing Zipporah's courage, faith, and loyalty. She loved her husband so much that she stood up to GOD himself on Moses' behalf. And she stood up to God in a way that honored God and showed reverence. BTW, I like the Message translation best cuz it says she touched his member (tee hee). All the others say she touched his feet, but doesn't member make more sense? Like, she couldn't actually circumcize Moses...he had already been there done that!

Well, this got me thinking about the importance of the wife in God's eyes. God knew that Moses would need the absolute support and loyalty of Zipporah in the challenge he faced. God knew that Zipporah's faith and devotion to God would be supremely mandatory in the years to come. So this little paragraph establishes that.

I was also thinking about how that applies to us modern wives. (I am speaking it so for the future in my case) Like, when our husbands are facing the biggest challenge of their lives, what are we willing to do? Just stand by and watch? I am NOT suggesting we draw blood or anything that literal...but I think it does call us to put our loyalty to our husband first and defend him to whatever is threatening to destroy him. In other words, the fierceness of our faith on behalf of our husbands DOES matter greatly to God. Our iron clad loyalty and willingness to fight for our husbands matters to God. At least this is what I'm thinking after pondering that bizarre little paragraph for a few hours.

I have not done any research to see what the top theologians think on this subject. But it would be interesting to find out if anyone has ever given a sermon or bible study on this verse before. Also it is an example of how we should have a healthy fear of God's Truth, even though we live in the era of the New Covenant which fully demonstrates God's Grace. Do any of you have insights to add? Or do you know of a sermon or bible study that references this verse?

Sustainability

2008-09-01T12:36:00.002-04:00

I'll admit, I'm not the most eco-friendly person you'll ever meet. I do what I can when I can. I honestly make an effort to reduce, reuse, and recycle. I carry my lunch and groceries in canvas bags way more often than not. I make an effort to buy local when I can. And I try to pay attention to my utility & fuel consumption, but I'm not willing to compromise comfort too much. Over the past several years I have developed a strong aversion to wastefulness. This is evident especially when friends ask why I don't pursue certain career options that seem like a good fit for me and my response includes how wasteful that particular industry can be.

I am blessed that most of my friends "get it" when I give those answers. And I have friends who do a much better job of encouraging and supporting sustainability than I do. Such is the case with my friend, Zoli. Zoli and his wife, Sjen, are very dear friends. Sjen is actually one of my very closest friends and I thank God for her regularly. So when I say they truly walk their talk when it comes to sustainability, I have first hand knowledge of this. So when you visit the website, Green of a Kind, that Zoli launched not too long ago, you can know he has not only done his research- he practices what he preaches. Here's a link to his website:

http://greenofakind.com/

And I can't neglect to mention my friends, Wendy & Dave in New Jersey. They started their own non-profit organization in their community called Sustainable West Milford. I can also vouch for their practices. When I stayed with them about a year ago we ate veggies grown in their community garden and all waste was collected for the compost pile, etc.

What motivates me personally to do my share is that taking care of our planet honors God. It matters to God what we do with His creation. And to practice the reduce, reuse, recycle lifestyle sometimes encourages my own creativity. Instead of throwing something away, I find myself considering if there is any way I can re-purpose that item. Can I create something artistic with it? Or can I use it for another practical purpose instead of purchasing more stuff to serve that purpose? To me, practicing sustainability exercises God's truth and grace. The truth is that if we don't start paying more attention to being eco-friendly our environment WILL (and does) suffer. And God's grace blesses us with creative minds to think of new ways to be green.

Lyrics du Jour- Hello Sandy Allen

2008-08-13T17:37:00.004-04:00

I just learned that Sandy Allen passed away today. I can't think of a better tribute to her life than the lyrics of this Split Enz song:

Hello Sandy AllenThe world's tallest woman
We made friends in New York
Don't know if you'll remember
I'm bound to say I felt uneasy
when I first laid eyes on you
But I liked the way you talked
Like a living hoper
Towering over our heads in more ways than one
The hand that shook my hand was awesome
It still amazes me

Hope you're happy - Sandy Allen
Hope your garden is blooming
We're all staring at the mirror
tryin' to put our faces on
Appearance never held you back
Must be when you're number one
you don't have to try so hard

Hello Sandy Allen, hello Sandy Allen, hello...
Hope you're happy Sandy Allen
Hope your garden is blooming
We're all staring at the mirror
tryin' to put our faces on
Appearance never held you back
Must be when you're number one
you don't have to try so hard

Amen!

Lyrics du Jour - North Dakota

2008-08-02T12:24:00.002-04:00

In honor of my recent fabulous trip to gorgeous Portland, Oregon I’m featuring the lyrics to North Dakota. What? Did I say that right? Yes, I did! See, while I was in Portland, Lyle Lovett was playing at the picturesque outdoor venue at Edgefield. And Lyle’s song, “North Dakota” is one of my favorites. I have seen Lyle do this song live in concert at least twice before and it nearly moved me to tears.

Here’s the catch- I didn’t get to see Lyle while we were both in Portland. The reason why was because I was at a wedding. While the wedding reception was lovely and fun, the weather that night was perfect and, truthfully, I would have rather been relaxing outside to the sounds of Lyle. The bride and groom probably would not have missed me and I could have enjoyed the show and pretended Lyle was dedicating “North Dakota” to them. So this post is my own little way of reconciling this by doing my own dedication of the lyrics of this beautiful & honest love song to Dave & Laura Jean:

“The boys in North Dakota, they drink their whiskey for their fun,
The cowboys down in Texas, they polish up their guns,
And they look across the border to learn the ways of love.

If you love me, say I love you,
If you love me, say I do (2x)
And you can say I love you,
And you can say I do.

So I drank myself some whiskey
And I dreamed I was a cowboy
And I rode across the border

If you love me, say I love you,
If you love me, take my hand (2x)
And you can say I love you,
And you can have my hand.

I remember in the morning, waking up,
With your arms around my head
You told me, you can sleep forever
And I’ll still hold you then.

Now the weather’s getting colder,
And it’s even cold down here,
And the words that you have told me,
Hang frozen in the air,
And sometimes I look right through them
As if they were not there

And the boys in North Dakota, they drink whiskey for their fun
And the cowboys down in Texas, they polish up their guns
And they look across the border to learn the ways of love.”

So here’s to the bride and groom! When the weather gets cold, your words of love hang frozen in the air, and you look right through them as if they were not there- remember to look across the border into each other’s eyes to learn the ways of love. And as stated in your vows, may you always treat each other as a newly discovered treasure.

A Prairie Home Companion

2008-07-06T10:29:00.007-04:00

I'm sure I was the only girl in my Jr. High and High School to own a Garrison Keillor book. I don't remember how I discovered him, but I'm pretty sure it was not by listening to his radio show. I doubt I could tune that show in on my radio in my small Ohio hometown. All I know is that I got his humor and his sense of humanity...even though at that age I could never have articulated that deep of a connection. And it was reading his stories of Lake Wobegon that I probably had my first real thoughts of being a writer. Truman Capote had a similar effect on me. At any rate, whenever it was that I did first encounter "A Prairie Home Companion" it was instant love.

I confess that I don't remember to tune into it all that often. I suffer from that horrible affliction of "too busy" sickness. Although these days I can download the podcasts...and I still don't remember to do THAT even. And when I do catch the local broadcast of the show or download a podcast, it fills my heart with such joy and inspiration. The words genius, hilarious, and beautiful are commonly repeated aloud while listening. I do love the long-running favorites of Guy Noir, The News from Lake Wobegon (which has brought me to tears in every way possible), and The Catchup Advisory Board promos (a personal favorite). Recently I have heard him do a skit a few times involving a guy in his 40's named Duane and the phone calls he has with his parents. That skit is in the show this week. Way too funny! And the characters are stereotypical perfection.

Before I started writing this post, I visited the show's website for a little inspiration. There is a section called "Post to the Host" that features comments people have posted for Garrison and his responses to their questions or comments. I'm so glad I took a few minutes to read through those because it was an AHA! moment for me and how I'm wired. I will probably expand on that in a future post... but I might keep it to myself. There were a couple where Garrison responds by describing the rest of the picture as prompted by the initial post. His responses seem less about merely acknowledging the fan's post and more about enhancing the experience the fan mentions. I think that it's beautiful how he does that. Because that is so much like life. If we focus too much on one specific thing we noticed in the midst of a larger event we limit the fullness of the experience. My AHA! moment came while reading the follow-up comments made by other fans- too much to share here.

A few years ago I had the chance to see Garrison perform live here in Cincinnati. It was not a broadcast of "A Prairie Home Companion." He was performing with the Cincinnati Pops Orchestra and he brought Robin & Linda Williams with him. I enjoyed it very much. AND, my favorite part of the experience was sitting next to an incarnation of my maternal grandparents. This couple I sat next to looked a lot like Naomi & Russ and behaved like them, too. Naomi had hearing aids she never wore so Russ had to repeat things to her regularly when she loudly complained she hadn't heard what was just said. This little old lady did exactly that! She opened her purse before the show started and looked at her hearing aids declaring "I don't want to fool with these tonight." Then had to ask her husband to repeat half of what Garrison was saying. I think they were lucky to be sitting next to me because most people would have been annoyed by this, but it tickled me pink! Furthermore, while speaking to them during intermission I found out the husband was a Methodist minister. Naomi's father was a Methodist minister. The show featured a couple of gospel songs and during the break the "Naomi clone" speculated loudly about whether the Jewish people in the audience were offended by the gospel music. It was all I could do to keep from laughing out loud because that is EXACTLY what Naomi would have said!

The way Garrison tells a story makes me notice how the most seemingly trivial (some annoying) thing about a person's character can be the center of a climactic moment in a scene, whether it is joyful, beautiful, or heartbreaking. By portraying his characters with their complete truth he can create moments of solace in the midst of chaos. His stories set my thoughts about the people in my life, past (like Naomi & Russ) and present, in the context of grace.

Faith and Art: The Blog

2008-07-05T10:53:00.004-04:00

My friend Stacie has a calling. It's a calling that I can relate to with every ounce of my being. Stacie has a relationship with God that inspires her to create art and to worship Him through art. Stacie and I share the belief that God is the ultimate Creator and that by being created by Him in His image that means we should delight in our own creativity. We are not, by any means, the only people who believe this. However, we are both saddened by the amount of people who love God yet shy away from their own creativity. And, it is not about whether you can only draw stick people or your entire house (and everything in it) is beige. To this end, Stacie was given a prompting by God to start the Faith and Art Blog. And I think, for Stacie, it was a bit like Noah building the ark. She launched the blog and then spent a good chunk of time on her own spiritual journey as to how it should look and WHY.

Recently, Stacie was asked to share her view on the connection of faith and art at a Sunday service of a new church in a Cincinnati suburb. She shared her favorite quote from her favorite book "Walking on Water" by Madeline L'Engle. I am copying it below as it is on the Faith and Art blog, embedded in an insightful paragraph written by Stacie:

"Let's be honest, the arts haven't always been compatible with Christianity. Sometimes it's because bad art gives all artists a bad name. Sometimes it's because art is inspired and therefore powerful and sometimes powerful can translate as dangerous. I think sometimes as Christians we are afraid to feel anything powerfully unless we feel it in church (or on a retreat, or small group or whatever.) And for a Christian to feel something so strong about something that is not blatently Christian? Can seem like we're somehow betraying God or our beliefs.

"And as I listen to the silence, I learn that my feelings about art and my feelings about the Creator of the Universe are inseparable. To try to talk about art and about Christianity is for me one and the same thing, and it means attempting to share the meaning of my life, what gives it, for me, its tragedy and its glory."

For L'Engle, finding "cosmos in chaos" is basically what determines "Christian" art from "Non-Christian" art. If you can look at a piece of artwork, read a book, sing a song that, while not necessarily being blatently Christian, makes you see some sort of divine meaning - cosmos, creation, life - in the chaos of a fallen world? Then it is good art. And it is Christian art. Because life, cosmos, creation? Are God. "

SO well said, Stacie! I am THRILLED that Stacie has found a new groove with her Faith and Art Blog and I invite you to explore new levels of your creativity by visiting it:

faithandart.blogspot.com

Stacie's new groove comes in the form of weekly lessons/challenges that people of all ages can tackle. And in each lesson she encourages a fresh perspective on how we see God's truth and grace in everyday things.

25th Post-iversary!

2008-06-02T14:38:00.002-04:00

Welcome to my 25th Post-iversary! Since this is not a blog that literally documents my everyday life, nor does it spout off on hot topics or speak negatively about others - feel free to roam through my archives. Many of my posts contain ponderings that are poignant regardless of when I wrote them. Here's my personal Top 10 of the 25 posts, so far:

1) 50 First Dates - posted 12/5/07
2) Thing of Beauty - posted 12/8/07
3) Kirsty MacColl - posted 12/9/07
4) All Summer in a Day - posted 12/12/07
5) Sound of Music - posted 12/30/08
6) The Logical Song - posted 1/6/08
7) Humanity - posted 1/25/08
8) Reign Over Me - posted 1/27/08
9) U23D4ME - posted 2/10/08
10) Over the Rhine - posted 5/25/08

Thanks for pondering the Truth and Grace in everything with me!

Spynoculars

2008-06-01T19:34:00.003-04:00

There's a great commercial for the cable company that shows 2 bored guys on an undercover stake-out discussing the great ideas they've come up while on stake-outs. Of course one of them is something that the cable company is now providing, so they end it with "Well, we still got spynoculars, right?" I have a couple of restaurant ideas that, if someone else puts them into action before I do... I'll get crackin' on those spynoculars. If anyone reading this wants to help me make these two ideas a reality, please leave your comments on this blog. Here they are:

Good to Go- a drive through restaurant that offers ONLY healthy food that meet the following criteria: contains NO high fructose corn syrup, uses only whole grain bread products, ingredients bought locally as much as possible, at least 3 low sodium choices, organic as much as possible.

Peacemeal- a upper scale or gourmet restaurant that publicizes and donates a large portion of profits to various not-for-profit organizations that positively impact the local community and/or world on a rotating basis. Possibility of having visiting celebrity chefs to raise even more awareness for specific causes. This restaurant would operate on reservations only with just a few pre fixe menu options to choose from.

These are just a couple of my many ideas of ways to infuse good stuff into society. I also have writing/screenplay ideas and a marketing idea for a thermal bag just big enough for a pint of ice-cream with a lock on it for those people who live with ice cream mooches (thus keeping the peace in many a home). But then again...there's always the spynoculars.

Over the Rhine

2008-05-25T20:49:00.003-04:00

Over the Rhine is a section of downtown Cincinnati that is notorious for extreme poverty, crime, and drug dealing. In fact, the movie "Traffic" filmed it's U.S. inner-city drug dealing scenes in Over the Rhine. And there is another reason the name Over the Rhine is somewhat noteworthy. There is a great band from Cincinnati named Over the Rhine, lead by Linford Detweiler and Karin Bergquist. They are so good that they spend a good chunk of their time traveling to do live shows for their fans around the world. I happen to be a fan as well and have seen them a few times when they do hometown shows. Which leads me to the inspiration for this post. On Thursday, Linford walked into the coffee shop a couple of blocks from my place where I happened to be having lunch. They are in town for a show and rehearsed at the gorgeous old church across the street from my building. As I walked home a little while later I heard music and Karin's voice coming from the open windows of the church. It was a beautiful day and I walked slowly past the church to linger in the afternoon serenade. And got lost in thought about some of my favorite OTR lyrics.

Linford and Karin write great songs together. When I heard Karin sing "Drunkard's Prayer" live at an intimate concert, it sent chills up my spine and I declared I wanted it played at my wedding or at an anniversary celebration. Now I just have to find a husband who agrees with that song choice! ;-) Here are the lyrics:

You're my water
You're my wine
You're my whiskey
From time to time

You're the hunger
On my bones
All the nights
I sleep alone

Sweet intoxication
When your words
Wash over me

Whether or not
Your lips move
You speak to me

Like an ocean
Without waves
You're the movement
That I crave

And in that motion
I long to drown
And be lost not to be found
You're my water
You're my wine
You're my whiskey
From time to time

And then there's the lyrics to "The World Can Wait" which affirms the intimacy I feel with God and fills me with longing to bask in His presence, to be pulled even closer to His side. Here's a taste:

but tomorrow I can't imagine
how am I supposed to know
what's yet to go down ?
is there only one religion
the kind that whispers
when nobody comes around ?

the world can wait
the world can wait
I wanna drink the water from your well
I wanna tell you things i'll never tell
the world can wait
the world can wait
i'm wide awake
and the world can wait

I want to feel and then some
I have five senses
I need thousands more at least
every day a page of paper
every night a photograph
a moveable feast

so fade to black and white now
roll the movie of my life
inside of my head
'cause like all true believers
I am truly skeptical
of all that I have said

Those last few lines speak to me about those moments of doubt, when I replay scenes from my life trying to discern the truth or grace in me. And then the chorus kicks in reminding me the world can wait while I drink from His well.

Bathed in Prayer

2008-05-21T13:25:00.004-04:00

Over the past several months I have become close friends with two wonderful families. I'll refer to them as the "S Family" and the "H Family" for the purpose of this post. The H Family has had a tragic year full of struggle and heartache on many levels. So a few weeks ago Mrs. S suggested praying over the H Family's house while they were away. I was having a busier week than usual and couldn't be there physically, so I told Mrs. S I'd write one of my signature prayers to hang in the H home. As I sat down to compose I prayed for inspiration and God gave me this:

Bathed in Prayer

We call Your Name, Blessed Be
With our rawest emotions
Wrapped in tears, wrapped in anguish
Guarded with logic, defended with pride
We offer our prayers

We call Your Name, Blessed Be
With Your sacred devotion
Strip us bare, embrace our search
See where we are, drenched with pain
You hear our prayers

We know Your Name, Blessed Be
With our fumbling faith
Full of despair, we wait, "Why?"
Steeped in blessing, infused with hope
We bathe in prayers

We know Your Name, Blessed Be
With Your water of life
Wash us pure, cleanse our church
Splashed with blood, redeemed by Christ
You lived our prayers

Splish Splash, I am takin' a bath!

Lyrics Du Jour - Whole of the Moon

2008-05-20T17:18:00.002-04:00

In honor of the full moon tonight I'm sharing the lyrics to one of my ALL TIME favorite songs. This song, "Whole of the Moon" by The Waterboys, has always deeply moved me spiritually. More often than not, if all my attention is focused on fully listening to the music and lyrics of this song, I get full body tingles that my sister and I refer to as "God Hugs." Yes, there are a few specific lines that capture how I feel about God, but mostly I think my feelings for this song are poetic rather than a scientific disection of language. Here are just a couple of stanzas:

I pictured a rainbow, You held it in your hand
I had flashes, butYou saw the plan
I wandered out in the world for years
While you just stayed in your room
I saw the crescent
You saw the whole of the moon
The whole of the moon

I was grounded, While you filled the skies
I was dumbfounded by truth, You cut through lies
I saw the rain dirty valley, You saw "Brigadoon"
I saw the crescent, You saw the whole of the moon- Yeah

Whenever I'm feeling frustrated about only seeing a sliver of God's perfect balance of Truth & Grace, this song lifts my spirits and raises my voice in praise and reverence of His Glory.

Oscar Buzz

2008-02-24T20:47:00.003-05:00

No, this isn't about my predictions for who the Oscar will go to. As a matter of fact, I'm watching the Academy Awards as I type this- and I'm feeling the adrenaline buzz I get every year. I love the Oscars!

While I do appreciate the beautiful dresses to a certain degree, I don't care too much for the red carpet hoopla prior to the ceremonies. No, what I love about the Oscars is the acknowledgment of creative genius in all areas of movie making. When I see a great movie I steep in the complete experience- great direction & vision, cinematography, production, music, and an actor who can transcend their celebrity.

My definition of an amazing acting performance IS when the actor so completely portrays the character that the viewer forgets which actor is playing the part. Some examples of this (in my opinion) are: Daniel Day Lewis in My Left Foot (or anything else he does), Jamie Fox in Ray, Renee Zellweger in Cold Mountain, Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind, The Insider, etc. (again, anything else he does), Meryl Streep in Sophie's Choice, The Devil Wears Prada, etc. (anything she does), Gary Oldman in Sid & Nancy... okay, so I could go ON... I have a whole list of actors who seem to always lose themselves in their roles. Then, there are a few actors who are always excellent AND you always know who the actor is... Jack Nicholson is one of those, Judi Dench (for the most part), Emma Thompson (love her!), Laura Linney, Denzel Washington, etc. Well anyway, I digress... I love great acting...

And then there's those "Oscar Moments"- sometimes it is an acceptance speech that makes me feel like I, sitting on my couch in my jammies, have just won something, too. Sometimes it is the host who captures the audience with quick wit, or due to their incredible writing team who writes their schtick. Sometimes it is a great comic moment by a presenter. Some of my most favorite recent comic moments have been by Will Farrell... the year he presented the Oscar for Best Makeup- hilarious! And the time he and Jack Black wrote lyrics to the music that swells to cut off a long acceptance speech- genius!

I love the Oscars so much it is a secret (not so secret now) dream of mine to actually win an Oscar...for what I'm not sure yet- probably that great screenplay I haven't written yet, but God only knows! Well, even if I never win an Oscar...it would be pretty cool to be a part of the Oscar Production somehow... maybe as a seat filler? ;-) In a nutshell, I love movies for the way they embrace and celebrate humanity and I love the Oscars for the way creative humans are celebrated.

U23D4ME

2008-02-10T18:36:00.000-05:00

My friend, Chelle, admits she isn't the biggest U2 fan, so when she told me I had to go see U23D, I knew it must be extra good. And it was. Anyone who knows me, knows I AM a huge U2 fan and they have consistently been one of my all time favorites since 1981 or so. I remember that when I got my tix to see The Police on the Ghost in the Machine tour, there were rumors that U2 would be the opening act and I was super psyched about that! Turns out they only opened for the first leg of that tour and Joan Jett opened for the second leg...I got the Jett leg (pun intended).

Here's another little nugget that I very rarely share with anyone- When I was 17 (that was in 1984- yes, I am old)I wrote a fan letter to U2. I don't remember exactly what I wrote. I remember that I prayed fiercely before writing the letter. I had no idea where to send the letter so I sent it c/o their recording studio, Dublin, Ireland. I'm not even sure I had a street address, but I had an innocent faith it would reach them somehow. Several months later I got a postcard in the mail from Ireland. It has 3 pictures of the band on the front and the only words on the front are SISTER SISTER. On the back is a handwritten note that reads: "Dear Emily, Thank you for your letter which I have passed on to the band. Unfortunately they are unable to reply personally as I'm sure you understand." And it is signed by Cecilia. I still have the post card!

Anyway, I'm so glad I took the opportunity to see U23D- it is an awesome experience! Although it is live footage of them in concert in Argentina, I can't compare it to seeing them live. And, by the way, I did see them live twice on the Joshua Tree tour (still have my concert t-shirt). First of all, the 3D effects brought the entire band much closer than one could get seeing them in concert. Also, if I were seeing them live I would NOT be sitting still, calmly munching on popcorn! I would have been up on my feet, smashed into the crowd around me, singing along with them, and screaming with glee until my voice gave out. Somehow, I don't think the people sitting behind me in the theater would have appreciated any of that! ;-)

But that reminds me of the time I went to see Rattle and Hum with my friend, PJ. We went to a matinee in the small town I grew up in and we were the ONLY 2 people in the entire theater. So, we DID act like we were at a live show! We had so much fun! We stood, we cheered, we lit a lighter and swayed back and forth with the crowd on the screen...and laughed when the usher came in and caught us acting that way. PJ and I used to do all sorts of silly things together. He is one of those friends who has always offered me limitless grace.

U2 and I go way back. And I have always had a deep spiritual understanding of their music. I know there are all sorts of people who feel the same way and books have been written to point out all the biblical references in their songs. But from the first time I heard "Gloria," their music delivers me straight into a zone of worshiping God. It is a worship zone without pretense or excuses. It is a zone where I feel the intensity of God's perfect balance of truth and grace. It is a zone that conjures pure praise.

Reign Over Me

2008-01-27T15:51:00.000-05:00

This could be considered a sequel to the Humanity post. When "Reign Over Me" was released I knew I wanted to see it, but for some reason didn't - until today. Okay, so am I the only person that sees so much of God's truth in Adam Sandler flicks? (see my post on "50 First Dates" for more) Well, this movie was not a comedy- and, as with most dramas, there are some very funny moments. But more than anything, it is overflowing with outstanding observations on humanity, and our need for the balance of truth and grace.

"Reign Over Me" is a movie that needs to be fully experienced. The blend of images, characters, and perfect soundtrack can't be spoiled by whatever I may share about it here.

Allen Johnson (played by Don Cheadle) is a successful dentist with strong moral character (and a bit of an issue with keeping healthy boundries). Allen sees an old friend from college, Charlie Fineman (Adam Sandler) while stuck in traffic. He eventually catches up with Charlie, but Charlie is obviously not in his right mind. Rather than running from Charlie and his decline, Allen embraces the chance to get reacquainted with his old friend. Allen shows Charlie grace at every turn, even in the midst of Allen's own personal turmoil and pain. There are times in this movie where it seems Allen risks his dental practice, his marriage, his reputation, his pride- all in an effort to show some grace to his old friend Charlie. And he doesn't fully understand Charlie's behaviors. All he knows is Charlie had lost his wife in children in the 9/11 terrorist attack. And Charlie's response to his loss is to withdraw from any recognition of his life before that day. Allen doesn't pretend to have all the answers either. There are times where he is obviously baffled about what to do with or for his friend. But Allen never stops offering him grace. And slowly, in his own way, Charlie responds to Allen's grace. Yes, it gets messy at times. But isn't that true of anyone's life?

See, that is what is so amazing about God's grace. Whatever our truth is, wherever we are in our ability to deal with life or how we respond to pain... God is true to his promise of offering the most perfect grace anyone could ever want. And sometimes God uses us to show grace to others. We just need to have open hearts to the humanity of our lives.

Humanity

2008-01-25T21:02:00.000-05:00

This post is long...apologies in advance. Today my friend, Stacie, sent an email in response to this heartbreaking and amazing report (cincinnati.com - search: Our Hidden Communities) about 4 men who were stabbed through the heart in December, in a suburb of Cincinnati. I have copy and pasted the email below (with Stacie's permission & encouragement), which includes her message to the two journalists who composed the report. Stacie wrote:

"Ok. I just sent this email off. Because seriously? I'm a wreck. I know this is a big political/legal thing but the basics of the fact that people are so desperate that they'll risk their lives to try to make things better for their family? Floors me and makes me realize how not only are we so blessed, but we're so far removed from situations like this that we can't even comprehend what motivates people to break the law in order to survive. I hate that the fact that four men died and left behind family and friends who have to deal with the emotions AND how they'll survive. I feel helpless. I'm tired of feeling helpless. This was the only thing I could think of...

Am I losing my mind?! Why can I not just read an article, be "touched" by it then move on? Oy vey :-P

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Stacie
Date: Jan 25, 2008 12:10 PM
Subject: Immigration article - thank you
To: EKELLEY@enquirer.com, CCOCHRAN@enquirer.com

Hi -

I just got a chance to read your more in-depth stories about the four Mexican gentlemen who were killed in Sharonville. First I want to thank you for giving these men some humanity. I know the illegal immigration issue is something that has to be dealt with from an economic and basic infra-structure standpoint for the U.S. I just cringe at the thinking that seems to say it's ok to be anti-Hispanic "because they might be illegal" when the reality is that most people have no clue how the immigration system works. And obviously, you cannot tell if someone is legal by looking at them. And even if someone IS illegal, they're still a human being and deserve the same basic human rights we do while we try to sort out the rest.

Ok, sorry to rant :) We moved here from the Washington DC area a year and half ago and it's taking time to get used to it (I grew up here but have spent most of my adult life in Maryland.)

ANYWAY, the reason I'm contacting you. The basic sadness in all this is the humanity. That there are people back in Mexico who now have no clue how they'll survive. I know if I were to leave a comment in the article comments section about how to help the families of these men that it will most likely not go over well and may even be overlooked. But IS there some way to help these people? We're not "rich" and we live on a budget. But we're SO blessed. I just can't stand the idea that these men were killed in our city and that's the end.

We can afford come cinder block, PVD plumbing piping and whatever else it takes to make their lives a little easier. But I'm just one person and have never done anything like that before and don't know where to start. We're not currently affiliated with any church, I have no fund raising experience and having only been back here for a year (and living in the very suburbany suburbs... which... oy vey) I feel terribly disconnected and don't know where to start. If nothing else, is there a way I can send something to these families? An address? How can my family and I help? I don't necessarily need to start an organization or relief fund. I'd just like to be able to send them some money or basic items or maybe get some friends together and try to take care of this village a little bit.

Please know this isn't some temporary thought just brought up emotionally by your articles. It IS emotional. But it's also a realization that being "just one person" can make a difference to one other person. I know I can't change the whole thing by myself. But I also know I can go to the post office and mail something to someone to help them out. So, how can I do that?

Regardless, thank you for the time and effort and obvious care you put into your work on this story. " -Stacie

I was deeply moved by Stacie's reaction and promptly wrote this reply to her:

Well said, Stacie! I do think it breaks God's heart and therefore it SHOULD break our hearts too. There is a song by U2 that captures this emotion for me...maybe this will be my Blog post for the day... but here it is for YOU:

When you look at the world
What is it that you see
People find all kinds of things
That bring them to their knees

I see an expression
So clear and so true
That changes the atmosphere
When you walk to the room

So I try to be like you
Try to feel it like you do
But without you its no use
I cant see what you see
When I look at the world

When the night is someone else's
And you're trying to get some sleep
When your thoughts are too expensive
To ever want to keep

When theres all kinds of chaos
And everyone is walking lame
You don't even blink now do you
Don't even look away

So I try to be like you
Try to feel it like you do
But without you its no use
I cant see what you see
When I look at the world

I cant wait any longer
I cant wait 'til I'm stronger
Cant wait any longer
To see what you see
When I look at the world

I'm in the waiting room
I cant see for the smoke
I think of you and your holy book
When the rest of us choke

Tell me tell me
What do you see
Tell me tell me
Whats wrong with me

When I hear this song I hear it as a conversation Bono is having with God about how hard it is to be human and see other humans suffering, and how easy it is for humans to just look away when they see tragedy. Our hearts are hardened out of self preservation it seems. I think it is a song of questions, questioning God on how are we supposed to deal with it all?

You are great, Stacie! I know it is easy to beat ourselves up when we are having more emotions about something than the people around us. But it doesn't mean our emotions are wrong or that we should be able to read about a tragedy and just feel "touched" by it. I know, I know.

Thanks for writing that letter to the authors.

In His Grace,

Emily

Thanks, Stacie, for keeping the eyes of your heart open to humanity. And thanks for sharing your genuine agony over how to offer grace to those grieving in Villa de Ramos, Mexico.

Lyrics du Jour- The Freest Man

2008-01-14T13:12:00.000-05:00

This is sort of a follow up post to the Encouragement subject. This one is particularly about encouraging a friend who may be working through issues and the importance of showing them grace in such a way they really feel grace. This means that sometimes we need to go beyond the quick fix answers or the pat response of "Well let me know if there's anything I can do for you." However well intentioned that offer may be, a person feeling less than worthy or far from grace may need a little more nudging to KNOW that their vulnerable issue won't be mishandled. I feel today's lyrics du jour selection from Tilly and the Wall is spot on what I'm talking about.

It should be noted that these lyrics live in a most deliciously upbeat and fun environment. I first heard of Tilly and the Wall in a music review about a year ago in Relevant Magazine. The reviewer said, "This is the boy/girl sing along CD you never knew you needed!" Based on that I bought it and dubbed it a new favorite immediately. And as you will see, deeper than fun lyrics:

"this boy i know lives in a bell jar
it is balancing up on it's pedestal
he tries not to upset the weight of conscience
afraid it's so far to fall if no one catches him
but I've been there too, and I swear to god
if I can help you, please, you've got to tell me how
I know you've been away, and it can break you down
and I don't want you gone

all the cracks you see can be repaired
and if you start to fall, we will be there
don't drown yourself in all your old regrets
because that heavyness will steal away your breath

step out of that life
it's nowhere near your time

and don't forget that you called it all bulls**t
well it still is and if you stop giving into it
you will walk away the freest man"

These lyrics remind me on a soul level of Hebrews 10:24 "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds." When we do that we are encouraging freedom.

Encouragement

2008-01-13T22:56:00.000-05:00

Recently a friend was sharing about a time when she felt “shut down” by a person in a leadership role. I find it heart breaking when I encounter a leader who doesn’t see how effective encouragement can be when given generously. Encouraging each other is talked about many times in the Bible. I think it is because grace can always be found there. God is all about grace. And when we encourage another we are showing that we believe in them. When I’m muddling through new ideas or considering new options for my life, knowing I have friends and family who believe in me is priceless. And something I know about the people who truly love me is that even if they don’t understand or see my vision, they will tell me so with a spin of encouragement.

One of my favorite songwriters, Ben Harper, captures the weight of encouragement well here:

“the good lord is such a good lord
with such a good mother too
they have blessed me
in the good graces of you

i have heard a hundred violins crying
i have seen a hundred white doves flying
but nothing is as beautiful
as when she believes in me”

In the leadership program I did, I was regularly reminded that my number one job as a leader is to say, “Yes you can!” People and teams are more productive when they know their ideas and contributions are appreciated, even if not implemented. And if a person in a leadership role doesn’t think the vision being pitched is a good fit for the cause, there is always a way to speak the truth with love and grace.

Lyrics du Jour- The Logical Song

2008-01-06T20:17:00.000-05:00

Supertramp had a few hits when I was a kid. Probably the most well known one these days is "Give a Little Bit" because the GooGoo Dolls did a cover of it not too long ago. The lyrics to that are great, too. "The Logical Song" was also on the radio back in the day. I remember liking it back then but not fully grasping the lyrics. Then in the mid 90's I was in a leadership program and one of the facilitators played it to get us to think about our adult roles differently. Ever since that day, I have a had a new appreciation for these lyrics:

"When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful,
A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical.
And all the birds in the trees, well they’d be singing so happily,
Joyfully, playfully watching me.
But then they send me away to teach me how to be sensible,
Logical, responsible, practical.
And they showed me a world where I could be so dependable,
Clinical, intellectual, cynical.

There are times when all the worlds asleep,
The questions run too deep
For such a simple man.
Won’t you please, please tell me what we’ve learned
I know it sounds absurd
But please tell me who I am."

I'm sharing these lyrics here and now because I've been reading "Searching for God Knows What" by Donald Miller. The chapter titled "Naked" unpacks the profound beauty of how God created us to be in relationship with Him. The chapter is titled "Naked" because it ponders in detail the story of the Garden of Eden. It's great stuff and I encourage everyone to read it for themselves. I can't do it justice here. But the lyrics above were playing loudly in my brain when I read this:

"If man was wired so that something outside of himself told him who he was, and if God's presence was giving him a feeling of fulfillment, then when that relationship was broken, man would be pining for other people to tell him that he was good, right, okay with the world, and eternally secure."

Yet another example of God's perfect balance of Grace and Truth. I bet Supertramp has no clue how their lyrics so accurately display some basics of Genesis Chapters 1-3.

Sound of Music

2007-12-30T22:15:00.000-05:00

I know that at least one of the major television networks shows "The Sound of Music" every year around the holidays. For me it must be one of those things that is such a holiday staple I haven't really watched it all the way through or paid any attention to it since I was a child. And even at that, I admit that my memories of it are inextricably linked with the family I grew up across the street from. They were a naturally talented family. The three children loved "The Sound of Music" so much I remember they performed the "So Long, Farewell" song (with the choreography) at a neighborhood party which required each of them to play the part of at least 2 of the von Trapp children. I must have been impressed...my memory is so vivid!

At any rate, I'm fairly sure I have not allowed myself to enjoy this classic movie completely in my adulthood. And that is a shame. I'm sure that I never fully appreciated the love between Maria and Captain von Trapp as a child. Or Maria's struggle between her faith and devotion to God and her unexpected love with the Captain. Not to mention the sensitive issue of political and patriotic loyalty as Hitler was brainwashing his followers...I mean the music is pretty but what 8 year old can fully grasp THAT! Or, for that matter, the beautiful truth that the Reverend Mother shares with Maria about climbing every mountain, etc. I, as a full grown woman who strives to live a God honoring life (while finding and living my dream), and who also longs to be a God honoring wife, find myself especially moved by their love, discovery of their love, and declaration of their love. And watching (as an adult) Maria and the Captain sing these lyrics:

"Perhaps I had a wicked childhood
Perhaps I had a miserable youth
But somewhere in my wicked, miserable past
There must have been a moment of truth

For here you are, standing there, loving me
Whether or not you should
So somewhere in my youth or childhood
I must have done something good"

Well, hearing those lyrics as an adult struck something primal in me and brought me to tears. I think that it struck a primal fear of feeling worthy. And as a Christ follower, it simultaneously reminded me of how truly amazing God's grace is. For here He is, standing here, loving me, whether or not He should. And it's NOT because somewhere in my youth or childhood (or adulthood), I ever did anything good. With faith in the truth and grace that Jesus Christ fulfills, I am worthy of His love - regardless.

Musical Reality Show Christmas

2007-12-23T19:18:00.000-05:00

Santa delivered two things I love early! First of all, Team Lachey won the Clash of the Choirs and I am so proud! I am not only proud of how talented the Cincinnati Choir was, but the love THEY showed (including Nick) for Cincinnati and Cincinnati Children's Hospital. I am truly impressed with the humility of all involved. I have a new respect for Nick Lachey... he handled the entire competition like a gentleman. Having lived outside of Cincinnati, I know the rest of the country doesn't seem to fully appreciate the greatness of Cincinnati. I think Clash of the Choirs may have been the best PR Cincinnati has had in years.

In other musical reality show news, the band I was cheering for WON on The Next Great American Band. The judges all agreed that The Clark Brothers brought authentic passion to every performance. They said that they had something that could not be faked or bottled. What The Clark Brothers have is deep faith in the perfect grace and truth only God can offer. For the final show they did an original song called "You are Still the Same" and it is one of the most beautiful love songs to God that I have heard in a long while. To watch a replay of the finale click below:

http://nextgreatband.msn.com/ngb/video/week10

I highly recommend taking time to watch it as it is an excellent showcase of the diversity and talent of ALL the bands that made it into the top 10. Anyone who knows me knows how much I dig live music of all types. So, I was like a kid in a candy store every time I watched this show.

I thank God frequently for music- it is a significant source of joy for me. So it is fitting that I claim these two music reality show victories as two of my best Christmas gifts this year!

Lyrics Du Jour - Trouble Me

2007-12-17T16:05:00.000-05:00

Today's selection is an oldie but goodie from 10,000 Maniacs. *Bit o' Em trivia: I got to see 10,000 Maniacs open for R.E.M. in the mid-80's before this song was even written. At that show Natalie Merchant was twirling on stage and twisted her ankle. After the show a few fans waited by the tour busses, some even tossed a frisbie with Bill Berry. And Michael Stipe carried Natalie out to the bus...very romantic moment.* Anyway, the lyrics for Trouble Me are pretty awesome in context of friendships in general. I know the first time I heard this song I got all weepy & grateful about some special people in my life. I mean, how can ya not? Check 'em out:

"Trouble me, disturb me with all your cares and your worries.
Trouble me on the days when you feel spent.
Why let your shoulders bend underneath this burden
when my back is sturdy and strong? Trouble me.

Speak to me, don't mislead me,
the calm I feel means a storm is swelling;
there's no telling where it starts or how it ends.
Speak to me, why are you building this thick brick wall to defend me
when your silence is my greatest fear?
Why let your shoulders bend underneath this burden
when my back is sturdy and strong?
Speak to me.

Let me have a look inside these eyes while I'm learning.
Please don't hide them just because of tears.
Let me send you off to sleep with a"There, there, now stop your turning and tossing."
Let me know where the hurt is and how to heal.

Spare me? Don't spare me anything troubling.
Trouble me, disturb me with all your cares and you worries.
Speak to me and let our words build a shelter from the storm.
Lastly, let me know what I can mend.
There's more, honestly, than my sweet friend, you can see.
Trust is what I'm offering if you trouble me"

And now I hear these lyrics as the words of Jesus. If I'm having a bad day, I imagine Jesus is singing this to me and I surrender to His grace which is sufficient for all my needs.

Sunday Morning

2007-12-16T22:18:00.000-05:00

I love Sunday Morning! The show on CBS, not the specific time or day of the week. Although the actual time and day are pretty groovy, too. Back to the show (feel free to say that like Ed Sullivan) ...I grew up watching it with my dad. I was probably the only Charles Kuralt fan under the age of 18. And before I started attending my current church, I used to proclaim that watching it was better than going to church. Lucky for me, my church offers two service times that don't interfere with CBS' Sunday Morning. Or I could record it...whatever... the point is, I still love it! I don't love it more than God, but because it is full o' God.

Sunday Morning on CBS is technically a news show. Not only does it present current world news, it features profiles on artists, interesting "everyday" people, movie and music reviews, humor, and commentary. All of this is delivered by journalists with no mention of God (unless it's about God directly in some way). I say it is full of God because these stories demonstrate God's creativity and beauty. This morning's show had all of that. The commentary today was from Ben Stein (Bueller...Bueller...anyone) and, as usual, was deep and heartful. Seriously, his commentary has brought me to tears more than twice! And today was another like that. On the surface it was about consumerism and the holidays. But Ben put his spin on it and revealed the truth and grace of the season - succinctly with soul.

Seoul Mates

2007-12-14T13:58:00.000-05:00

My neck of the woods is preparing for a "winter storm warning" this weekend. That, in combination with the holiday season, has me pining for my all-time favorite "Christmas Episode" of any TV show ever. The Northern Exposure episode titled "Seoul Mates" with the original air date of December 16, 1991 takes the prize for me. And I know I'm not the only one with such affections for this episode. It won an Emmy Award for Outstanding Achievement in Writing at the 1992 Emmy's. While I am a big fan of Northern Exposure (the writing, in general, was excellent) even still, that particular episode stands out. It was a grand showcase of all the cultural differences and quirky character traits and how the writers revealed the deepest truths of the character's souls in the most beautiful ways. And how, by the end of that episode, love and grace permeate every nook of Cicely, Alaska. (I get choked up just thinking about Holling singing Ave Maria and that song usually doesn't conjure such emotion for me)

Remembering Northern Exposure and that episode, has extra weight for me today as I'm going to a Christmas Party tonight given by the director of the clinic I support. One of the things I do love about working in a hospital is the unique blend of cultures that naturally display two primal forces in human life- the desire to heal and be healed. In the midst of that, my clinic co-workers will celebrate the spirit of this season together...coming from different religious beliefs, different age groups, different countries of origin, different opinions and reasons for attending the party. Some of us know each other well, and some of us have never met the others in person. I have no doubt that it will be a lovely gathering and that the peace of the season will prevail in the hearts of us all.

All Summer in a Day

2007-12-12T13:23:00.000-05:00

Yesterday afternoon my friend, Carrie, stopped by my office to steal me away for a cup of coffee. Rather than taking the tunnel to the new building on our hospital campus, we walked outside to enjoy the unusually spring-like weather in the middle of December. It was nearly 70 and sunny and Carrie was especially enjoying the sun after a week of rain. She suffers from Seasonal Affective Disorder so the sun was giving her a natural high. While we were waiting for Antoinette to make our Carmel Machiatos (Carrie insisted on buying, thanks Carrie!), we were discussing the seemingly unending rain we had over the past week. I said, "Whenever there are more than 3 days straight of rain I always think of that short story by Ray Bradbury..." before I could finish my sentence Carrie blurted out, "When they lock the girl in the closet!" We were simultaneously delighted that we had found somebody else familiar with that story! I had read it in elementary school (which was more than 25 years ago) and still remembered it like I had read it yesterday. Carrie said it was the same for her. Carrie vowed to find it on the internet and she DID. Here's the link: http://www.intermed.it/bradbury/Allsummer.htm

It's a very short story...less than 3 pages in my gradeschool textbook I think. But Ray Bradbury manages to convey so much in those few pages. Carrie and I both remember feeling incredible compassion for Margot, the main character. As an adult I can appreciate it on a different level. But mainly, it is about coveting another person's experiences and memories and how that can lead to cruel intentions and erase all traces of grace.

Lyrics Du Jour - Kirsty MacColl

2007-12-09T14:08:00.000-05:00

Kirsty MacColl was killed in December 2000 by a boat speeding through a restricted area where she was scuba diving with her sons in Cozumel. She had already shared her gift of music with the rest of us for many years prior to her tragic and untimely death. One song in particular stands out to me as it was played heavily on my favorite radio station in the 80's. The song "Walking Down Madison" was co-written with Johnny Marr (of The Smiths) and it's lyrics ring true for me as motivation for my volunteer work with OneCity (see link to the left). And, the lyrics can be a reminder to all of us to show grace to everyone we encounter, because in the big picture- we are not that different. Here is just a small taste of these poignant lyrics:

"See you give 'em your nickels, your pennies and dimes
But you can't give 'em hope in these mercenary times, oh no
And you feel real guilty about the coat on your back
And the sandwich you had, oh no

From an uptown apartment to a knife on the A train
It's not that far
From the sharks in the penthouse to the rats in the basement
It's not that far
To the bag lady frozen asleep in the park
Oh no it's not that far
Would you like to see some more?
I can show you if you'd like to

Within every city and town there's a Madison
Frozen lives for whom nothing's happening
Hungry children is a mother's dilemma
Dumpster diving to feed her baby Emma
So you walk on by like it doesn't affect you
The held out hand that you pay no respect to
Nickels and dimes won't even buy your guilt
Another wino dead burnt to death in his quilt
It's a cardboard city, newspaper metropolis
The system can't cope or keep on top of this
The authorities come as you're not for display
Do they solve the problem no they move him away
They're in a vicious circle of no fixed abode
The social won't pay 'em the money they're owed
When you got no money you can't pay rent
Hypothermia kills 'cos the system is bent"

"The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." Mark 12:31 NIV

The lyrics display truth, the scripture quoted is just one example of Jesus teaching grace.

Lyrics Du Jour - Thing of Beauty

2007-12-08T11:05:00.000-05:00

Today's selection is from the Hothouse Flowers. In the 80's they were the "next big thing" to come out of Dublin, Ireland after (the story goes) Bono "discovered" them in an Irish Pub. I'm just glad their records made it to the U.S. so I could fall in love with their lyrics...selfish, huh? Below is just a small sampling:

"Look out your window on a winter's morning
Your breath is steam and there's frost falling
And the sun casts a spell upon the road
A thing of beauty is not a thing to ignore
Great song of beauty

Stand by the river on a moonlight evening
Lovers are loving and grievers are grieving
And the water does a dance upon the stones
I sit and listen, I will not ignore

A thing of beauty is not to be ignored
Can't you see (can't you see)
In the secrets of the dawn? (thing of beauty)
Can't you feel (can't you feel)
Can't you feel it in the place that you come from? (thing of beauty)

Face up to morning
Face up to day
Face up to reality
And face up to your ways"

Here's to finding the beauty in everything!

Ugly Love

2007-12-06T21:20:00.000-05:00

When I first heard the premise for "Ugly Betty" I was lukewarm about the whole idea. It sounded cute, but it also seemed like it was trying to cash in on the success of "The Devil Wears Prada." And that, for some reason, annoyed me. So I ignored it. That wasn't too hard because for a long time I was always busy on Thursday nights. Well, I'm not sure how, but I started watching it every once in a while last summer (reruns). By the end of the summer I was hooked!

The best thing about it is the writing. I so appreciate good, clever, witty writing! It is hilarious without jokes or predictable timing. At the same time it is tender and heartwarming. It manages to combine wholesome quality relationships along with vicious, stinging, greed driven characters and it plays like a symphony. In any given episode I find myself laughing heartily one minute and all veklempt the next.

And all the hype about the character of Betty, I'm finding, is sincere. Despite the many distractions to tempt her into abandoning her truth for the flashy, "glamorous" life, she perseveres while offering grace to even the most self-serving characters.

Lyrics Du Jour

2007-12-06T15:12:00.000-05:00

This may be a recurring topic/post. Today's "Lyric Du Jour" selection may date me. Or it may be a surprise, considering my Listening Loves List over to the left of the page. However, these lyrics give me grace. They give me grace to create yet another blog in a cyberspace full o' blogs.

"Be
As a page that aches for word
Which speaks on a theme that is timeless
While the sun God will make for your day
Sing
As a song in search of a voice that is silent
And the one God will make for your day"

-BE by Neil Diamond from the Soundtrack for "Jonathan Livingston Seagull"

Spring Awakening

2007-12-05T20:52:00.000-05:00

When I returned from a recent road trip to visit friends in the NYC area (I used to live in that neck of the woods), I composed a "newsletter" to summarize my trip. I think anyone who read it noticed that aside from seeing several great friends (who I hadn't seen in at least 5 years), my favorite part of the trip was going to see "Spring Awakening" on Broadway. I'll admit that the first I'd heard of it was while watching the Tony Awards many months ago. I had already started planning my road trip back then and after the cast performance on the Tony's I KNEW I had to see Spring Awakening while in NYC.

WOW! What a great show! It is not for the easily offended, but other than that I highly recommend it to everyone...even if you hate Broadway Musicals. I don't think my words can do it justice; it is a deeply emotion evoking experience. The plot was written by a German playwright in 1891 and it is brilliantly set to modern music by Duncan Sheik and Steven Sater.

How does this work without being a train wreck or cheesy? The songs are the internal dialogue of the hormonal teen characters. The lyrics are poignant, clearly conveying the complexity of emotions surrounding their sexual desires, questions, doubts, and angst. In about 2 hours this show deftly addresses sensitive issues including lust, self gratification, a first experience of sexual intercourse, sexual abuse, teen suicide, teen pregnancy, the importance of adult friendships/mentors with teens, academic pressures, ...I could go on, I'm sure. All these issues are presented in a humorous, heartwarming, heartbreaking, intimate and even fun way that is completely captivating. Did I mention the amazing emotionally accurate lyrics? They are chock full of both truth and grace. I'm tempted to share some to demonstrate- but I won't.

Finally, the production aspects are at once frugal and fresh. There is no orchestra pit- the band stands center stage at the back of the "set" (there is no set, really... not a typical set). There are about 20 chairs on the edge of stage left and stage right that hold equal parts audience, cast, and understudies. When a cast member is not an active part of the scene, he/she just sits in one of those side seats and may or may not add back-up vocals to whatever song. All adult roles (mother, father, teacher, piano instructor, doctor, etc.) are played by the same man and woman throughout. There are no costume changes. No big traditional dance numbers. It is riveting.

50 First Dates

2007-12-05T14:05:00.000-05:00

Recently, I finally got to see that Drew Barrymore/Adam Sandler flick "50 First Dates" for the first time. I had heard it was pretty cute. But I wasn't expecting to end up in tears! Well, you could blame it on the cliche scape goat for women...hormones. However, at least hear me out.

In the movie Adam's character is trying to woo Drew's character, but Drew's character has a special kind of amnesia due to a car accident. Don't be too analytical and just roll with it! So for 3 years her father and brother have been re-creating the same day (the proposed day after...or was it the day before... the accident- not really important) to protect her from the horror of re-discovering her memory loss and the cause of the memory loss every day. That in itself is pretty sweet. Then Adam's character proposes something different. He takes the time every night to make a special video for Drew's character to fill her in. They estimate that it took her about an hour to cry it out every day, but then she could go on living a NEW DAY every day...instead of the same one over and over. Well, the fact that Adam's character loves her enough to do this is pretty amazing. Even though she wakes up every day having no clue who he is, he pursues her heart and makes her fall in love with him EVERY DAY! My first thought was, "What an AMAZING guy! To go to such lengths to pursue her heart in a new way every day!" And then it hit me...

...that is EXACTLY what Jesus does for me (and YOU) EVERY DAY. He's doing it whether we notice it or not. He does it even if we don't want Him to...I can personally attest to that! Well, that made me cry even harder. And the tears were absolutely tears of joy. It was, to say the least, a few moments of pure praise. All brought on by a "date movie" I watched alone on a cloudy day.

Maiden Voyage

2007-12-04T20:52:00.000-05:00

Well, here it is. After many nudgings, winkings, and shovings...here is the beginning of something intended to be beautiful, bold, and blossoming. Stay tuned...